Love and Fear

I am a thinker. I have the innate ability to over-analyze words, a gesture, a look, or any given situation. This personality trait is most certainly a weakness of mine, because it brings me nothing but stress and worry, often leaving me paralyzed with fear and anxiety. I genuinely feel the need to work on this aspect of myself for the sake of my emotional well-being, because the state it leaves me in is shortening my life.

Case in point: Yesterday, we had some of the biggest South swell of the season. Watersports enthusiasts island-wide skipped out of work in order to watch and/or ride the waves...my husband, included. He left the house at 6:00am bound for La Perouse, and I did not see him until almost 7:00pm last night. His last text to me was at about 9:30am, and that was it. I sent him a text around noon just to check in and didn't hear back from him. By 3:00pm, panic set in and lunacy ensued. Accidents happen all the time. And out here, on a rock in the middle of the Pacific, we are no strangers to water-related injuries and mishaps.

Love makes you vulnerable. And when you love someone with your whole heart, soul and being, the fear of losing them can take you to places you don't think are possible. I have not felt a fear so deep and so debilitating in such a long time. At 5:30pm yesterday, I found myself sitting on my bed, unable to dissuade my thoughts from taking me to an unthinkable realm of the absolute worst. And there, by myself, looking out my bedroom window at the palm tree pulling in the wind - the very wind that was bringing in these sought-after waves - I about lost my ever-loving mind. I burst into tears because the idea of losing him was so raw and so real. And it scares me that my mind can take me to this place.

It has been less than a year since I lost my brother and the idea of losing the Love of my Life? It was enough to launch me into the throes of despair. I hate this kind of fear.

I will spare you the details of my meltdown and simply say this: God hears us. In my moment of panic, He managed to get my attention. I felt Him. I heard Him. And I was comforted enough to be able to pull myself together and wait. Patiently.

My phone rang at almost 6:00pm. As it turns out, the point to where they'd hiked out on the lava rocks was so far out, they'd lost phone reception. He was fine, but delayed (the waves were so big they'd washed up onshore where they were trying to drive out from). I cried tears of relief; I just wanted him home so that I could hug him. Hard.

* * *

I realize how unhealthy this kind of fear is, and we had a long talk about it over dinner. I seriously need to get back into Yoga to better manage my stress levels.

On Aging

A bottle of Bordeaux or Cabernet Sauvignon. Gouda Cheese. Vintage books with weathered spines and yellowed-pages. A towering Redwood tree. Fall leaves in shades of honey and burnt sienna. Each of these are universally recognized as being better with age and each possess a beauty all their own. I can't help but wonder why it is so easy to see the value and beauty in our surroundings, but so difficult to embrace this "age" within ourselves.

While editing photos from our trip to California, one photo in particular had me staring at the computer far longer than was necessary. In this photo, I am standing with one of my nephews and we are smiling at the camera. And it hit me. I just looked...tired; the wrinkles around my eyes were suddenly more apparent than I remembered and seeing this blown up on my computer screen made my heart sink a little. I didn't just look tired, I looked old. It's not so much the physical changes that are most unnerving; it's what these changes suggest--proof that this body of mine is temporary.

There is beauty in age.

Sometimes I catch myself obsessing about the telltale signs of aging, or how this year "I am going to be (insert age here)", or allowing myself to be seduced by tabloid magazines and celebrities in their forties who don't look a day over twenty. And sometimes I make the mistake of reminiscing about my youth to the point of crafting a list of woulda, coulda, shoulda's. And honestly, this is such a waste of time; precious time in my temporary life that could be better spent doing something more productive. Like LIVING.

I know I am getting older. I'm actually more aware of my age than ever; the creaking bones, the rogue gray hairs, the slowing metabolism and the wrinkles...these are all constant reminders. And for the most part, I am okay with it, because each of these are also representative of a life I've lived. The creaking bones? They've held me up through years of snowboarding, wakeboarding, running and 15 years of jazz, tap and ballet (that's right...I'm not a complete tomboy). The gray hairs? Okay, these I can do without, but for now, it is something that hair-color-in-a-box will fix. A slower metabolism means a genuine committment to staying active and fit (I have amazing parents who set a fine example), and the wrinkles? I like the idea that the wrinkles around my eyes are either laugh lines or the result of smiling too much. Because I do laugh, and I do smile, every single day.

So while I may not be fine wine or aged cheese or a vintage treasure, I'm living a rich life filled with family, relationships, experience, emotions and Love. And if wrinkles and gray hair are the price I pay for these gifts, well, then I say Bring It.

Young at Heart

Guess who participated in a Zumba Flash Mob over the weekend?! If you guessed me, you are WRONG! I received this text on Saturday:

"OMG, you will not believe what Bill and I just did...Flash Mob via Zumba at the Palo Alto Art & Wine Festival!"

Reading this text immediately put a smile on my face because this text was coming from my Momma. That's right, my Momma, Zumba-ing her little booty in the sunshine with the best of them. And it gets even better, because my stepdad did it with her! They have been working out together 4-5 days a week for the last 10+ years, Jazzersizing and Zumba-ing their hearts out, participating in little performances here and there and just loving life together.

Seriously...how cute are they?

When I read my Momma's text, I immediately thought to myself: I could never do that. And as though reading my thoughts, she sent another text that read: "You only live ONCE, right?". And she is absolutely right.

I am really proud of my parents; not just for their desire and commitment to live a healthy, active and fit lifestyle, but for their open minds and their ability to not take themselves too seriously. These people - my parents - are a lot more hip and more than likely in much better shape than Phil and I. They inspire me. And at this age in my life, they are still parenting...still teaching me.

This weekend, they taught me to let go and live a little.

Duly Noted.

ETA: Because I know you are all wondering if this performance was caught on video, you're in luck! My Momma is in the back, wearing a turquoise top and my stepdad is in a black T-shirt. :)

* * *

Love you, Momma & Bill! Keep Living Aloha! xoxo

Hurricane Irene

Thinking of my East Coast friends and residents along the Eastern Seaboard.
Keeping you close at heart and praying for your safety!

via

Have a safe weekend, everyone.

Ty & Jess

There are two kinds of brides. In one camp, you have the emotional perfectionist whose planning process involved tabbed dividers, large, 3-ring binders and attention to even the tiniest of details, like how the exact font on your invitations should also be carried over to menus, placecards and other material used to communicate with your guests. This bride has spent her days eating and breathing all things wedding related, has done enough research of the industry to perhaps launch her own wedding-consultation business someday and, as a result of her extreme preparedness, more than likely has the unrealistic expectation that The Big Day will go exactly as planned (it will not, I can guarantee you that). And in the other camp, you have the laid back, easy-going, stress-only-when-you-absolutely-need-to bride. This bride is comfortable with delegating tasks, is confident with and trusts the friends and family she surrounds herself with and is able to relinquish the need for "control".

Those of us who are married might quickly recognize exactly which camp we belong to; there is nothing wrong with either - it simply comes down to our personality types. My new sister-in-law Jess falls into the latter group; the week leading up to the wedding, she was calm. She was composed. And my favorite part? She was just so chill (and if she really wasn't feeling this way, well then she did a darn good job at hiding it). I had many moments when I reminisced about my own wedding day and the basketcase that I was (in all fairness, my lunacy was warranted. I went to THREE HAIR SALONS on the morning of my wedding...long story); Jess' ability to keep it together and relax was evident; she just glowed. And girlfriend was stunning.

I photographed their wedding for my own enjoyment (I did not need the pressure of being their photographer!) and am really happy with how some of the photos turned out (some photos have been edited for privacy).

It was a military wedding; I still get chills looking at these photos. I am so proud of my brother; for the successful man that he is today and for his continued service to our country. I am both honored and humbled to be his sister.

So beautiful, I actually took about 15-20 shots of the cake, alone. And why not? It's art, afterall.

I am really fond of this next photo - NOT because it is a photo of red wine, but for the visual symmetry. If that doesn't just scream STRUCTURED and TYPE-A about myself, then I don't know what does (5 Points to anyone who can guess which Bride Camp I belong to!).

Weddings make me nostalgic and so happy. There is something so fairytale about a day dedicated to one couple, to recognize and celebrate their love and commitment to one another and to encourage the growth of magic and wonder between them. And as a guest at numerous weddings, I cannot fail to acknowledge that the union of husband and wife, this joining of two souls, is none other than a gift from God, Himself.

Love is amazing.

* * *

Photography Challenge:

I have aspirations to become a better photographer; shooting my brothers wedding was a great exercise for me to push myself to grow artistically. Anyone who knows me knows that I take pictures every day. A LOT of pictures. But what I have noticed about myself is that all too often, I take these photos with my tiny point-and-shoot because it is so much more convenient to carry with me. There is nothing wrong with this, of course; the camera is just one variable of what makes a good photograph. But having spent most of our trip shooting with my Canon DSLR and my newest lense (50mm-F/1.4), I fell in love with it all over again. I am challenging myself to spend one month taking photos with ONLY my DSLR and ONLY in manual mode. Not only will it push me to further understand the mechanics of shooting in manual mode, but it means I have to stop relying on the excuse that my DSLR is too cumbersome to lug around.

Plus, this challenge will help me when I hit The Hubs up for a camera upgrade (Canon 5D). Did I fail to mention that my husband is amazing and wonderful, incredibly handsome and loving? And I'm not just saying that because he reads my blog. :-D

Challenge begins on September 1st!

San Francisco Treats

There was a time five years ago, when saying goodbye to San Francisco and boarding a flight bound for our "new" home on Maui meant fear, heartbreak, tears and a faint (yet tangible) sense of uncertainty. And on trips back to the Golden State, this repetitive act of farewell made my insides ache not just for the elements that make the Bay Area an amazing locale to live, but the people---our family we leave behind.

It has been almost a week since our return from San Francisco. As much as I already miss my family and our time spent together, flying into Maui and stepping off the plane into moist, salty air infused with the distinct scent of plumeria (so very quintessential of life on a tropical island), made our arrival here truly feel like home.

This realization made our appreciation for our "old lives" back in CA that much sweeter. There was an apparent theme to our visit, all of which began with the sixth letter of the alphabet: F. Like Family. Friends. Food. And Fun. Four components that, if you ask me, make for a perfect getaway, however long or short the trip may be.

Phil had been talking about making a trip to In-N-Out for weeks before our trip; on that one afternoon, we sat outside eating in the "chilly" California sunshine and made his wish come true. And for the record, YES, I am back to eating meat again. This was not an easy decision for me and I still have MAJOR guilt issues because of this (another post, entirely), but I am learning to listen to my body - listening to what it needs. And on this day, in support of my husband, my body needed a burger.

CPK. Our old stomping grounds. Back in the day, my all-time favorite pizza was the Rosemary Potato pizza, a "sure thing" from which I rarely strayed. This trip, however, I mixed things up a bit (I am a creature of habit, so this is HUGE) and ordered the Pear & Gorgonzola pizza (Bosc pears, gorgonzola, fontina, mozzarella, carmelized onions and hazelnuts, and field greens tossed in gorgonzola ranch). I DIE.

Anyone living in the near vicinity of a CPK, would you kindly send me one of these, stat? Please and thank you.

We made a trip to the Mother Ship of all One-Stop-Shops: TARGET. I miss this place in a bad, bad way. We didn't do much damage this time around (last year, we stocked up on...stuff that would not fit in our suitcases and actually had to ship a box home to Maui), but did pick up a few items. After we played around in the parking lot like children, of course. And I seriously LOVE my husband for being such a good sport, because he knows that most of my pictures are almost always candidates for the blog.

WWWWWWWHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

We are the "cool" Aunt and Uncle, because we combed the aisles for toys to spoil my niece and nephew, which produces one of the best feelings, ever (thanks Mike and Jocelyn, for humoring us and letting us relish in our title!). We wrapped up their gifts--because at ages 3 and 5, nothing is more gratifying that unwrapping a toy, right?---and presented it to them during the rehearsal dinner. 'Worked like a charm and entertained them for hours. Not only are we the cool aunt and uncle, but we're pretty genius, too (that's right...we know some stuff).

Despite it being a quick trip focused entirely on my brother's wedding, we were still able to spend some one-on-one time with the parentals. We went to dinner and a show at Teatro ZinZanni - SERIOUS entertainment (if you live in/near San Francisco - go see it!). Phil was plucked from the audience to participate in the live entertainment not once, but twice. And it was awesome. Always the good sport, he is.

I carved out two hours on Sunday morning to meet up with one of my oldest and dearest friends, C. We'd planned this coffee date months ago and despite feeling under the weather that morning, I rallied and met her at Starbucks to catch up. It was two hours of non-stop conversation where we barely came up for air. I love friendships like that. I love this girl.

** NOTE TO SELF: Lose the shirt, Ang. It is NOT flattering on you.**

The night before we left (and two days before Ty and Jess left for their honeymoon), we spent the evening at Mike and Jocelyn's. It was an evening we'd arranged ahead of time and had been looking forward to: no grand plans, just us siblings and our significant others, sitting around the living room, talking. We ordered pizza for dinner, we drank wine (beer for the boys), we shared stories and we laughed. A lot. This was one of my favorite moments of the entire trip.

I do not know why my brothers and I always feel the need to throw out a "shaka". I don't.

And of course, there was the wedding. It was beautiful. The kind of beautiful that tightens your throat and leaves you short of breath. And it was emotional - not in the standard, cry-at-every-wedding emotional, but emotional in the sense that it was the wedding of my baby brother. And for my Momma, it marked the last of her children to marry. The wedding warrants a post of its own, so I will wait. And I will let my photos do the talking.

I cried a lot this trip. I cried right after we landed and when I saw my Momma and stepdad waiting for us at their allowed station, clear across the aiport. I cried in church at the rehearsal when my grandfather was wheeled in on his wheelchair. His face, weathered, his eyes, tired, his once boisterous and booming voice whittled down to a laborious, softer tone. I cried when my niece and nephew both finally came to sit on my lap when we first arrived (it took them a while to warm up to me, but we got there). And I cried when I hugged my brother Mike; we've grown especially close over the last five years and the distance is hard. But all these tears...they weren't tears of sadness, no. I cried because I am filled with so much love for these wonderful and amazing people in my life; I feel so incredibly fortunate and blessed for this gift from God: the gift of Family. Nothing trumps family.

My cup runs over. And my heart is full.

What's on Tap for the Weekend?

First of all, I wanted to say a BIG thanks to all of you for your encouraging words on my What I Wore post; you guys are the best! Thanks so much for stroking my ego and making me feel semi-fashionable. :) I have to admit, it was fun to donn a pretty dress and a pair of heels and feel borderline chic, if only momentarily. We'll see how long this momentum lasts.

* * *

Aside from my quick trip to the gym this morning, neither The Hubs nor I have seen much of the great outdoors today. We both spent the day inside and parked in front of our respective computers, working. Sort of. We are both working on our gifts to my brother and new sister-in-law, Phil editing his video footage and me? Sifting through 500+ photos and trying desperately to narrow down the choices. This has inadvertently become a much larger project than we'd anticipated, but I am encouraged and motivated by the prospect of the end result.

A little teaser:

My niece (and the flower girl), Hailey...lounging with her feet up in the pew. Aaah, to be a kid again. :)

* * *

This weekend is going to be pretty low-key for us. With the flurry of events in the last couple of weeks, we're feeling pretty mellow and voluntarily housebound. Sometimes you just need days like these, no?

I hope you all enjoyed your Saturday! What's on tap for the remainder of the weekend?

What I Wore: Blue Suede Shoes

I am publishing this post with the caveat that I do not consider myself in any way, shape or form, stylish. This blog was never intended to be anything remotely fashion-related and posting "What I Wore" outfits has never been on my radar. As such, I don't know how long this window of bravery will last. Just sayin'.

* * *

Something happened to me while we were visiting my family on the mainland; I would not go so far as to say that I am permanently changed, but a seed has been planted...and I'm kinda wanting to see what grows.

Anyone who has been reading my blog for a while knows that I live in flip-flops (also known as slippahs out here), tank tops and cotton gauchos---which my husband is quick to point out that he abhors. My style sense has always been geared towards comfort and function and admittedly, I am lacking the girly-girl fashion gene. Since we moved here five years ago, I will be the first to admit that I've seen a serious decline in my interest in clothing and shopping and the accessories reminiscent of my "old life". And while I pride myself on being somewhat "low-maintenance", there is a fine-line between low-maintenance and no-maintenance. And it's a good thing I have a husband who LOVES me, because I think I might very well be straddling the two.

So while in CA and during a quick trip to the mall to find a dress to wear to my brother's wedding (Exhibit A: clearly, I am far from fashionable when I wait to buy a dress TWO DAYS before an event), I allowed my Mom and stepdad to drag me through stores to point out possible options. And there, in Nordstrom, in the dressing room at the far end of the hall, surrounded by 20+ dresses and an enthusiastic Momma who was excited at the prospect of seeing me in a colorful dress, it happened. I tried on a dress, and I felt pretty.

And when I say pretty, I mean, I really, honestly, felt pretty. Pretty in the sense that I suddenly wanted to curl my hair. Pretty in the sense that I suddenly wanted to wear eye-shadow and lip gloss. And pretty in the sense that I wanted to buy a pair of shoes that were bright, and fun and so NOT me. So guess what? I did.

And I rocked those blue suede shoes.

I would be remiss to post photos of the shoes only, so I'm throwing in a couple of photos that The Hubs took while I was fully decked out. I am incredibly uncomfortable posting these photos, but in light of this newfound girly-ness, I am sharing them with you.

dress: Nordstrom
shoes: Macy's
earrings: New Bling from Momma! (not pictured)

My brother's wedding is realistically the only time this year that I will get to see my husband in a tie ('cause that's how we roll), so I am including this photo for posterity:

I think we clean up real nice, don't you? :)

* * *

Linking up with Lindsey at The Pleated Poppy!

Guest Post: Jenni from "Story of My Life"

Aloha Friends and Happy Tuesday!  Today's post is the final installment to the Girl Power series; I hope you enjoyed reading what these ladies have had to say and that perhaps you've made a new blog friend or two in the process.

* * *

My guest blogger today hails from Austin, Texas and is well-known here in the blogosphere as the lovely Jenni from Story of My Life.  In a short amount of time, Jenni has become a very good friend of mine;  I adore her and look forward to the day that we have the opportunity to meet in real life.  She is supportive, kind and so incredibly genuine.  I'm grateful that our blog-paths crossed and am honored to count her as a friend!

Hello readers of Angie!  Before we begin, might I just say how terribly flattered I am to be here?  Angie is one of my favorite bloggers.  Such an inspiration to me.  And I'm betting she is to you, too. So, um... in keeping with today's theme... I hope you like me? :P

I'm going to talk a little bit about what it means to be a strong and confident woman.  And just to kick off this thing right, please read the following poem I wrote at the tender age of 11:

"No one will ever like me!"

Said Jenni (lastname) one day
When my hair finally does look right

For certain it won't stay that way!

My glasses take up half my face

My pimples own the other space

My bangs do never stay in place

"No one will ever like me!"

One ear is bigger than the other

"You're beautiful!" says lying mother

I know I'm not,

It's clear to spot,

"No one will ever like me!"

AHEM.  So.  Clearly, self-esteem has not always been my strong point. However, I'm happy to say things have improved dramatically since the angst-ridden little girl cranked out this rather pathetic piece of poetry. So what has changed in me since I was that little girl, distraught and certain that no one would ever like her?  As I thought about this, I realized that since then I've learned to look inside myself for strength instead of always to someone else.  I've realized my own power over my circumstances.  I've realized that I'm not a slave to what other's think of me.  I've realized that most of what I dislike about myself can be changed with a little bit of determination, and the rest?  Well, if it can't be changed than it's not worth the energy it takes to fret over it. 

I certainly don't consider myself a perfectly strong and confident woman just yet, but I'm trying!  Women who are strong and confident aren't completely immune to what other's think of them--they still have feelings and insecurities and imperfections.  But they've learned to stop pointing fingers and making excuses and allowing others so much control over how they feel.  I believe that WE paint this beautiful portrait that is our life.  We should be gentle with it, and forgiving of its flaws, but we should also hold it to a high standard. 

Strength and confidence are certainly a journey.  I bet there are very few who have it just right.  But it's a goal worth striving for, that's for sure!

Annnd that's all I have to say about THAT. :)  Angie, thanks for having me over!! 

To read more of my ramblings, visit me anytime over at Story of My Life. :)

* * *

If you're not already following Jenni's blog, you need to remedy that right now. And since you're already online, be sure to check out her Etsy shop here, follow her on Twitter here, and Like her Facebook page here. I think that about covers it. :)

Aloha from California (and Welcome, New Friends!)

As you read this, our trip to San Francisco is coming to an end. It's been a whirlwind of a week filled with family time, my brother's beautiful wedding (I can't wait to share photos!), good food and memories made. We're enjoying our time in CA but I have to say, it's kind of cold here!

I wanted to say hello and WELCOME to the new visitors here on my blog; I've noticed some new faces around these parts and hope that you will leave me a comment so that I can find a way to visit you, too! Thank you so much for reading and subscribing! Until I return to Maui and can resume my regular posting, I hope you're enjoying and finding encouragement and inspiration from my guest bloggers; they are an amazing group of girls I respect and admire, so please be sure to visit their blogs and say hello!

I'll be home soon but wanted to pop in and say hi - I miss you and look forward to catching up with all of you in the next few days. Have a beautiful week. Smile wide and Love big. And don't forget hugs...hugs are good.

Guest Post: Stephanie from "Big Mario Life"

Today, I've invited Stephanie from Big Mario Life to stand in for me while Phil and I wrap up our quickie trip to Cali. Stephanie is a new blog friend of mine; I am so glad for the thoughtful comment she left on one of my posts a few months ago, because it led me back to her own blog, which is very much a hidden gem. One of the first things I do when I come across a new blog is to read the "About" page (I find it to be a great snapshot of the blog and author) and when I read Stephanie's, I was hooked. Beautifully written, I actually laughed mid-paragraph with her choice of words; a description so matter-of-fact and awesomely appropriate, I knew right away I'd be following her. You can read it, here. Go ahead...I'll wait. :)

Stephanie is a talented photographer, a gifted writer and she is ridiculously gorgeous, to boot! I hope you enjoy her post as much as I did!

* * *

Aloha!!  I'm so honored Angie asked me to stop by her little piece of heaven (aka her blog) and live a little aloha with you!  I can't wait to "meet" all of you and share some Girl Power!  (Did that remind you of the Spice Girls?  Hee hee hee.)

When Angie first told me the theme, I was super excited.  I tossed around lots of ideas, unable to make a decision, but I kept coming back to a very empowering quote I learned a few years ago when studying Italian.  The Boyfriend speaks Italian fluently and I didn't want to be left out so at the beginning of my 3rd year of law school, I bought a few Italian books and got to work.  Totally rational decision, I know.  I am not yet fluent -not even close- but I did learn a very inspiring quote in the process.  "Volere è potere."  It's pronounced kind of like  "Vo-lay-ray ay po-tay-ray."  The colloquial translation is "Where there's a will, there's a way" but I much prefer the literal translation which, according to my Italian book is: To want is to be able.  Another translation I've seen is "will is power."  Both are pretty awesome if you ask me.  To me, this means that all you need to accomplish something is simply the desire to do it.  If you have that, you're set!  The desire will drive you, motivate you, and empower you.  How awesome is that??  Everything you need to accomplish your goals is already within you.  Talk about empowering, right?

When I felt overwhelmed studying for the bar exam last summer, I repeated this quote to myself.  When my computer crashed half-way through the first day of testing and I had to write the entire 3-day exam by hand, I repeated this quote to myself.  When I sat anxiously awaiting the results nearly four months later (with a glass of wine in hand), I repeated this quote to myself.  (I passed!)  And now, in thinking about whether to embark on a new business venture, I repeat this quote to myself.  The thought of starting a part-time photography business while still practicing law is incredibly overwhelming but anytime those doubts start to bubble up, I repeat this quote to myself.  Volere è potere.  If I want it, I can do it.  Will is power.  Repeating this quote has motivated me to commit to the new business and {hopefully} I'll have a very exciting announcement for you in the next couple of months!

And that's it!  That's my inspiring quote.  It's gotten me through some challenging times and empowered me to chase dreams I never knew could become reality.  I wanted to share it with you because I wanted to share the Girl Power.  Hopefully those three simple words will remind you that if you want something, you already have all you need to go out and get it!  To me, that's definitely Living Aloha. :)

* * *

Thanks for chattin' it up with my peeps, Stephanie!

Please stop by and visit Stephanie on her blog and show her a little love, will ya? And while you're at it, check out her Etsy shop, here and follow her on Twitter, here.

Guest Post: Ashley from "The Shine Project"

As many of you may already know, today's guest blogger needs little introduction, because she is taking the blogosphere by storm! I'm honored to have Ashley from The Shine Project visiting here today; she is an exceptional woman with ideas and enthusiasm that will change the world.

* * *

Hi friends! My name is Ashley, and I blog over at The Shine Project. My goal is to change the world, one person at a time.

"A Happy Girl is a Pretty Girl" -Audry Hepburn

I couldn't have said it better myself Audry! Seriously, how TRUE is this?! I heard this quote a while ago, and immediatly started thinking about the happiest people that I know. Even though they all look completely different, had different skin tones, hair colors, etc, there was one thing that was true in EVERY person. I thought they were all beautiful, and particularly, their smiles stuck out to me. When someone is truly happy, it's as if they glow, and can light up a room when they walk into it. They inspire you because you literally feel uplifted being around them. They attract goodness because they exude it, and people want to spend time with them. Happy people are confident. They know their purpose, have faith in themselves, and don't let others bring them down. It is no wonder they look beautiful.

Let me paint the opposite picture for you. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Okay, maybe it's not so little, but I hope it will help those of you who who need it at this time in your lives. If you are on the alternative side to being a happy girl, there's a way back. I promise. You know how I know that? Because I've been there before. I know that sometimes our "funks" make us not feel pretty, make us overwhelmed, and we feel in despair. But guess what? THESE TIMES CAN AND WILL END. It's up to us to push through it, and to ask for help. We're not meant to overcome hard things alone.Now, I know the way back to being a happy girl takes a different amount of time for everybody. During that time in my life, I learned something. As crazy as it seems, when we focus on making other people happy, our burdens become a little lighter. Being around people that lift you up, and focusing on goals helps you get back to who you are meant to be. You know how in National Geographic where there's the heard of zebras, and the lions come out to get their grub on? You want to shout to tell the zebras to stick together and run, but theres ALWAYS that ONE little, weak zebra who leaves the heard, and is immediatly trampled on by the lions. {Okay, sorry for the graphic image...oops!?} When we try to overcome hard things, or try to find happiness by ourselves, IT DOESN'T WORK. We are here to uplift eachother, support eachother, and use our talents to improve eachother's lives. Doing this makes us HAPPY. After my short episode of "funk", I became that happy girl again. Do we all continue to have hard days? Yes! Will we always have times that we feel defeated, frustrated, and weak? OF COURSE! It is the process of life. It is how we learn all we need to while we are here. But we don't have to let our storms in life define us. Be Happy. Spread your smile. And if you're not, I'll tell you my little motto: FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT.

I'd love for you to come visit me over here!

* * *

Now Go! Go visit Ashley on her blog and learn how you can get involved in her campaign to change the world! Follow her on Twitter and "Like" her on Facebook, while you're at it!

Have a great weekend, friends!

Guest Post: Katie from "Love is Everywhere"

Happy Aloha Friday! Phil & I have been so busy with the non-stop flurry of wedding-related events, we've hardly noticed that the weekend is already here. We're enjoying family time, visits to our old stomping grounds and hitting up some of our favorite restaurants and eateries, one by one. And despite this trip not necessarily qualifying as a "vacation" so-to-speak, our days are filled with food, family and fun...what's not to like? :)

* * *

I hope you're all enjoying hearing from some of my favorite blog-friends! To wrap up the week's guest bloggers, I invited Katie from Love is Everywhere to drop in and say hello. Katie's blog is one of the first blogs I started reading regularly just over a year ago; I was instantly charmed by her friendly, youthful and playful spirit - she oozes happiness. What I admire most about Katie is her endless search for positivity and Love in every facet of life...the world needs more people like her in it. :)

* * *

What makes a strong and confident woman?

One that feels comfortable in their skin. You can always tell when you see a woman standing up straight and her eyes aren’t at the ground. That’s what I consider to be key when it comes to confidence. A woman that has gone through so much in life, but she never complains. Instead, she spends her days figuring out how she can use her experiences to help others. That’s strength in my eyes.

What was the best piece of advice you’ve been given?

There was a close friend of mine back in High School who I was inseparable with. She had this glow about her, that no matter who she talked to she left them smiling. It took time, but I finally realized what she did to make others happy. She always paid sweet compliments to them. Whether it was teachers, friends, strangers, or someone working at a store we were browsing around. Whatever she spoke to them left them at peace, smiling and feeling good about themselves. I remember one day talking to her about it. She told me ‘Katie, people really love compliments.’ I soon began to follow in her footsteps. To this day I pay at least 2 compliments a day to those around me. It’s a great feeling walking away from them, looking back and seeing a big smile on their face!

What (or who) inspires you?

Photographs inspire me. Whether they are my own that I take or others. Sometimes, we miss the beauty around us but a photograph captures it all. You find yourself staring at a photograph long enough, something will stand out that will make you tilt your head and smile. Photographs brighten our lives, just by displaying them in a room or on your computer screen. They capture memories, which we all agree is one of the most valuable and delicate parts of life.

Do you have a favorite quote that you live by?

“Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.” This is quote by the one and only Mother Theresa. It’s one of my favorites and of course it’s quite easy for all to understand. Each day I live by this quote. Each day I spread this quote through my own actions.

Who is your heroine and why?

My Memere has always been my hero. She passed away when I was 13 from Lung Cancer. It definitely was a hard time in my life as well all of those around me as she was the one who held our entire family together. She was a 4’10” tiny little Frenchwoman. In one’s mind they would think weak and petite. Petite she was, but stronger than any woman I’ve ever met. She had 7 children, all with different personalities and a sweet husband that struggled with alcohol. She managed to raise all these children on top of showing what love is for all of her 15+ grandchildren. She believed in never giving up on anyone, especially family. She instilled in all of us that you forgive those that may have hurt you. I learned from her that you always give hugs when you arrive and hug when you leave. She has not physically been around these last 14 years of my life, but I feel she’s with me every moment of every day. All of the advice she gave me as a child, has stayed with me.

* * *

If you're not already reading along on Katie's blog, swing by, say hello and take a peek at some of her regular features on that beautiful, four-letter word: LOVE.

Follow her on Twitter here. Check out her Etsy shop here. And "Like" her page on Facebook, here.

Guest Post: Kristie from "Kristie Was Here"

I'm excited to introduce you to today's guest blogger; Kristie and I are relatively new(ish) blog friends, but it didn't take long for me to realize that Kristie's blog would quickly become one of my favorites. With her English degree, it's no surprise that Kristie has a gift with words; her posts read like eloquent prose - beautiful, brave...captivating. I am a fan of the written word in general, but I have deep respect for those who have the ability to pen even the darkest of thoughts with elegance, beauty and light.

* * *

Aloha, everyone! I'm Kristie Price from Kristie Was Here and I’m almost Angie’s neighbor over here in Seattle. I’m so excited to be guest posting while Angie and Phil get outta town. If a trip for Angie means more pictures and fun stories for us when she gets back, then it’s definitely a win-win for everyone. Now, let's get on with the story.

The Best Advice I've Received: Wear More Pink

Both are glossy boxes of color—photos in which we are smiling. The first picture holds Kelsey’s grin as it spreads over her face. One, two, three wrinkles line her nose and a clear smile full of teeth. I stand to Kelsey’s left with my arms by my side. Kels is shorter than me with a bigger smile; she wants to be in this picture. She’s a 3-year-old plump old lady with chubby hands and a cute dress. Her arms are by her side. The dress has a big white collar—a sort of bib hanging round her neck. The dress is pink with bows. I never really liked pink. I’m in blue.

I’m in sky blue dress with bows and a white bib. Mom dressed us alike, two little Spanish dolls standing in front of yellow flowers. I don’t recall this moment, but it happened. No matter—we seem happy and content while enjoying a time unremembered.

Kelsey

The second photo is brighter—newer—no bibs, no bows. “I Love Soccer” is written in white across my bright red shirt. Kels is in dark blue overalls and a striped tank top. My right arm stretches across to touch her shoulder, but there are people in between: more sisters—Kathryn and Keren smile with all their teeth. Our skin is brown from the Florida sun. I’m still taller, but you can’t tell. We‘re sitting, leaning forward, with Keren scrunched in between her older sisters. Her gray t-shirt shows the changing times—Mom lets her dress herself. Kathryn is the one in pink; it’s the same pink Kelsey once wore. We are four sisters on a patterned couch.

Kelsey turned out to be the middle child. In family videos she mimics my movements as I whine that she won’t leave me alone. I was the big sister who wore blue, she was the little sister who wore pink; we were different and I tried to keep it that way. Until one day I discovered it didn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter.

Sometimes I’m so busy trying to define myself in my corner of the world that I forget to embrace the relationships around me, the women around me, the women who are beautiful, talented and kick-a** human beings. There’s often an unspoken, unapologetic competition among women. A subconscious voice wondering, “Am I better than her? Am I more athletic? Am I funnier, prettier, smarter?" But it doesn’t matter if you are. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t. It doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter because someone else's accomplishments or talent or beauty do not add or take away from your own. It does not affect your immeasurable value as a human being. You are worthy.

Period.

Kelsey could never be me, and I could never be her. Her self-discovery wasn’t a reflection of who I was. She was my sister. My sister. What a gift. We both love music. We love creating. We love people. She was the first family member to read my blog and tell me she "loved it." "Write more!" she demanded. I tried to make us different, but did it really matter?

Maybe I should try to learn from her.

Maybe I should see other women as sisters.

Maybe I should wear pink.

Me, Kathryn,
Kelsey, and Keren (holding our brother Jonathan)

* * *

Thank you, Kristie, for sharing with us the powerful truth in your personal experience! My sister-friend, there is a lot I can learn from you. :)

Friends, please take a moment to check out Kristie's blog. Get lost in her chronicles and you'll quickly see that her blog is like a good book you can't put down.

And for those on Twitter, you can also follow her, here.

Guest Post: Noa from "Noa Green Photography"

Today, fellow blogger and real-life friend Noa of Noa Green Photography is taking over my blog. Noa and I became blog friends back in 2004; we had the opportunity to meet in "real life" during one of her business trips to the Bay Area. I will never forget the moment we met face-to-face; she opened her arms, wrapped them around me and gave me the biggest hug. And because I am a HUGGER, I loved her immediately. Our friendship grew and less than a year later, I found myself in my PJ's, curled up on her sofa in her New Jersey apartment, my feet tucked under me; we shared a bottle of Chilean wine and stayed up all night talking as though we'd been friends for years. Noa and I...we are lucky in that our friendship is easy; we just connect. She is fiercely loyal and a true friend - someone I hold dear to my heart. I love this girl, and hope you will, too.

* * *

"Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway"

Three years ago today I felt like a shadow of myself. Lost. It was a time of extreme highs and lows in my life – I had just entered motherhood, was head over heels in love with my daughter, but felt stuck with my career. Truth be told, I had been feeling frustrated and disillusioned with my corporate job for quite some time.

For a while I had been trying to reconcile where I was versus where I thought I would be. Who I was, versus who I wanted to be. I had the corporate job that paid nicely, I had the nice Ivy League credentials on myresume, but I was miserable… Miserable with a capital M.

My main escape and amazing source of joy in life was my newborn daughter Aviv. She was a constant source of happiness, every breath and cry and sigh and curl of a finger pure amazement to me. I had purchased a DSLR camera when I was pregnant and was busy documenting every detail of her life. Photography quickly became a creative outlet and I was obsessed with learning as much as I could about it. I spent hundreds of hours on photography forums, read my camera tutorial cover-to-cover, and watched countless youtube teaching videos. Once I had taught myself the technicalities of shooting manually I started reading professional photographer blogs. That’s when the green-eyed monster came out…. I admired their creativity, salivated over their freedom of lifestyle, envied their flexibility to travel, and wished so bad it could be me.

I held on to this dream silently for a while. I couldn’t really conceive how I would become a photographer – I would need a portfolio, thousands of dollars worth of expensive equipment (professional body and lenses), back up equipment, a website, a blog, branding, insurance, a business license, studio samples, accounting system, business cards, stationary…. Where the hell do I start? The more I learned of what I needed, the more I felt far behind. Additionally, what if I invested all this time, money, sweat and effort only to fail? Oh, that fear of failure was paralyzing.

Then one winter night, after Aviv was sleeping soundly in bed and I was stalking one of my favorite photographer’s blog, I decided to hell with it. I wanted to shake my fist at myself for allowing fear to stop me. I was procrastinating because I wanted everything to be perfect, and things will never be perfect. There will never be a perfect time. There will always be more to accomplish, more equipment to buy and more learning to do. I took a piece of paper, wrote a phrase and taped it smack on the front of my computer monitor: Stop Wishing. Start Doing.

And with that, my photography business began. Because it’s better to start somewhere than to never start at all.

With the years I invested and grew all parts of my business, building up fully the list of essentials that had initially paralyzed me. It wasn’t easy – as a mother, I felt huge responsibility on my shoulders. Thus failure was never an option. I leaped off that diving board, leaped as far and high as possible, having faith that my determination and hard work will lead me to my dream. And it did. I started solely with the Nikon D700, two prime lenses and a blog. And quickly grew from there.

My photography business the past couple of years had taken off more than I ever imagined. I’m living my dream – documenting people’s stories, capturing personalities, archiving family relationships. I get to rejoice in weddings, snuggle newborns, play with children and make mama’s-to-be feel and look gorgeous in front of the camera.

If there is anything I can ask of you, it is to please believe in yourself. Go. Jump. Leap. Waste not one more moment in self-doubt and fear. If you don’t make mistakes it means you’re not trying…. So how will you ever succeed? Stop wishing. Start doing. Trust me….. You’ll thank yourself for it. Because its not about how amazing you are right now – its about how amazing you want to be, and consequently will push yourself to achieve.

Some of my favorite memories on this journey thus far include a maternity session in the suburbs of Paris, capturing tears fall down a groom’s eye as he watches his bride walking down the aisle, flying to California to photograph everyone’s favorite neighbor’s family (also known as Kimmy Gibbler from Full House), scouting Manhattan for photography locations, and most of all meeting my amazing clients and having them become a part of my life and dream. Storytelling through the lens of my camera is something that brings me so much content, so much happiness. I’m thankful and overjoyed I made that leap. I hope you do too.

* * *

Thanks so much for visiting, Noa! I Love you! xoxo

So did you hear that girls? For all of you who dream of making photography your career, take notes. Or, if you're in the New Jersey/New York area and would like to book a session with Noa, contact her via her blog (and while you're there, check out more images from her portfolio).

Visit her Facebook page for updates, sneak peeks of recent photo-shoots and words of inspiration.