On Time-Outs, Thank You's and being De-Followed

It's late and I've had a pretty rough day. Rough enough that Phil picked up the slack and actually spent time in the kitchen "cooking" tonight. Granted, we had breakfast-for-dinner, but still...it's effort, and I am grateful. Without being all dramatic about my day, I'll just say that work has been kicking my behind and sucking motivation and all forms of pleasantries from me lately. I'm feeling cranky, pulled in several different directions and consequently, offering less than 100% in each of those areas.

via

So what does this have to do with you? Nothing at all. But because most of you feel like friends rather than "readers" and this blog feels more like a little community, I wanted to acknowledge my scarcity over the last few days. I have an inbox loaded with kind emails from so many of you, most of which still sit unanswered. I want so much to respond to these emails in kind, giving each the attention it deserves, but free time is a precious commodity and I am failing miserably at this.

So what am I getting at? I won't beat around the bush. I can't give of myself if I'm feeling spread too thin. I can't (and won't) pretend to offer you insightful or honest feedback and/or conversation if I'm only going-through-the-motions and feeling pressured by time. So here's what I'm doing: I'm calling a Time-Out.

I need a couple of days to wrap my brain around things, to recharge my batteries and to just catch up. I promised myself when I first started this blog that I would write about valuable content and not just post for the sake of posting. So I'm staying true to my word and I'm calling a two-day reprieve to get caught up.

* * *

Which leads me to this: a sincere and heartfelt Thank You to those of you who read this blog and more importantly, for taking the time to comment; to say hello and to let me know that you've visited. Honestly...thank you. I think it's safe to assume we all enjoy comments on our blogs and the comeraderie we find in exchanging emails with one another but nothing is worse than leaving a thoughtful comment on somebody's blog and not being so much as acknowledged for it. And I am guilty of this. This blog--this virtual space of mine--it is very important to me; as such, for each of you who choose to visit me and make Living Aloha a part of your day, you deserve more than what I have given as of late. And for that, I apologize.

* * *

I also wanted to address something I've noticed over the last month. Thanks to trusty stat-counters, I "see" who visits. I "see" where you're from, how long you've visited and what posts of mine are of interest or significance. And I also "see" who follows and subsequently De-Follows me. I won't lie...there is a momentary sting to being de-followed and I try not to take this personally. I, for one, know how difficult it is to keep up with SO MANY blogs; although our intentions may be good and our hearts in the right place, I know how difficult it can be to try and stay current with hundreds of blogs. As a matter of fact, my Google Reader currently has 1,000+ unread posts! :( Ick. So while there is a bit of ridiculous and unnecessary ego-bruising that goes hand-in-hand with being de-followed...I understand.

But for those of you who DO follow me (whether officially or quietly and behind-the-scenes), please, please, please say hello. Shoot me a quick comment or an email to say hi. I love hearing from readers/friends and I love being able to read more about YOU, in the process. If you're a new visitor, please leave me the link to your blog so that I can find your little space here on the web. I may not get to visit your blog right away, but please believe me when I say that I "bookmark" many of your sites so that I can visit at a later date to catch myself up and follow you in return.

* * *

Finally, my ETSY shop:

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I'm pushing my launch-date back by a couple of weeks. I'll be opening my shop on Monday, July 18th. I had hoped to stay on track with my target date of July 1st, but I need to be realistic...and based on how my days have been of late, that just isn't happening. So July 18th, it is. Sit tight and stay tuned...I'll keep you posted on my progress!

Again, thanks again for visiting and keeping this blog on your radar. I appreciate all of you - friends, commenters and silent-readers, alike.

Have a beautiful Wednesday!

Homesick

I'm feeling a bit homesick these days...homesick for the family we left behind on the mainland, in both California and Oregon. As much as I love it here, it's hard, being away from family. Some days are harder than others; birthdays, anniversaries and the holidays are especially difficult, but it's the random days in between that make me miss living in San Francisco and within minutes of my family.

We don't get back to visit as often as I'd like, but we've learned to accept and appreciate our once-a-year visits...and it always helps that our families come to see us throughout the year. I have convinced myself that our families fly out here to see the fabulousness that is Phil and I, but deep down, I think it's also because duh, we live on Maui. But I'm totally ok with that.

Sundays are big days for me; I've had a long-standing Skype date with my parents every Sunday at exactly 4:30pm Hawaii Time. Our conversations last no less than 90 minutes, and I may or may not be shouting excitedly at the laptop while Phil will often throw glances in my direction that say: "indoor voices, please." I can't help it. I get loud when I'm happy and excited. :) Most Sundays, I also get a chance to see my niece and nephew via Skype, because my brother and sister-in-law are there visiting and my parents still have "Family Night Dinners" on Sundays (I know. How awesome is that?). So in a roundabout way, it's like I'm there having dinner with them.

Yesterday's phone date with my parents was no different; I yelled told them about our weekend, what we've been up to, what we were having for dinner...anything and everything of little to no importance. We joked, we laughed, and towards the end of our conversation, my Momma cried over missing us. :( Distance is hard. But I would be remiss if I did not admit that technology--as much as I resist it--is pretty darn amazing.

I'm looking forward to these summer months, when we will have time to bond with family. Next month, Phil's brothers and sisters (all FIVE of them!) are coming to visit us and then in August, we're Goin' back to Cali, Cali, Cali for a quick trip to attend my little brother's wedding. I'm so excited.

So, yeah. I'm homesick, but we've got a lot to look forward to in the coming months.

* * *

On a more random note, God's love has been pouring forth and shining extra bright on us these days. We've had some pretty amazing sunsets; sunsets that make the sky appear as though it's on fire, and enough to make you pull over on the side of the road to snap a photo and document the moment, because if you don't, it's as if it that sunset didn't happen. And that's a crime, in my book.

This was Saturday's sunset. We were on our way to dinner and I couldn't resist this photo op. And I'll have you know that as much as a fan I am for editing photos, this particular photo is straight off the camera. No editing necessary. Well ok, except for the watermark.

And for anyone interested, that night at dinner, I ate my weight in food. Enough so that I could not resist tweeting:

And while on the topic of Twitter...'follow me?

Savoring Solitude

Some days, I feel flustered and short on time; there aren't enough hours in the day for work, play, errands, obligations...Life. At the heels of this realization, I am quickly reminded of my youth, when eager anticipation of a slumber party or a day at the amusement park taught me patience and it felt as though time stood still and the days couldn't pass soon enough. But as I've grown older, I am finding myself wishing there were more hours in the day or that at the very least, I can simply press the proverbial "pause" button, slow down and just BE.

It goes without saying that I know we've got it easy, Phil and I. We live on an island where life does move along at a much slower pace. We don't have children, so for the most part, our time is ours (hats off to those of you who DO have families and are still able to achieve a healthy sense of balance). But despite not having to manage the responsibilites and obligations required of parents, still, there are days when time seems scarce in the life that I live. And it's all relative, right?

So because I have yet to convice Phil that we deserve to jet off on a vacation every month, I have grown to love solo-dates with myself, where I can disconnect and escape, if only momentarily.

There is a little place here on Maui I like to visit; it offers everything you need for an afternoon of peace and tranquility and always leaves you feeling a little bit closer to Zen. Tucked under canopies of greenery, The Sacred Garden is a healing sanctuary nestled in the hills near the Maliko Gulch. If you ever come to visit, bring your camera and a full bottle of BUG BLOCK, because you will need it. During my first visit here, I was the main course for mosquitos and left an itchy, welty, unhappy mess.

Everything about this place just oozes rest, relaxation and renewal. The few times that I've been, I was lucky to be one of only a few visitors, so it felt as though the place was all mine; it was all I could do not to roll out the yoga mat I keep in the trunk of my car and start downward-dogging it right there in the midst of orchids and other native plants and flowers.

There are two labyrinths on the property, and although I've only walked them once, I still feel the need to leave things just a little better than I found them; I pick up fallen leaves or debris that scatter the labyrinth and then step back to admire my work:

And at the edge of one of the labyrinths, there is a sitting area where you presumably rest with your thoughts, post-walk. On the tattered cushion of the bench, lies a community journal, which I absolutely and positively love (and you'd better believe I left some Living Aloha thoughts!):

I walk the property, snapping photos of anything and everything that jumps out at me at any given moment:

I talk to the little goldfish that swim in deep, pottery urns:

And my heart quickens when I find a photo op that leads me to believe that I might just have some potential with this camera of mine:

Spending time in this sacred space is enough to rejuvinate the spirit and leave me feeling happier than before I arrived. I walk quietly, I sip the herbal tea they provide free-of-charge from a tiny dixie cup, I take photos, and I just relish and enjoy the silence and solitude.

And when it it feels right to go, I pass through their on-site shop and I cannot resist purchasing a bag of affirmation stones:

And because I am feeling boneless and relaxed, it does not phase me one bit when I arrive home, show my husband my purchase and he asks me: "You spent THIRTY DOLLARS on a bag of rocks?"

Oh, ye of little vision. Rocks, yes, but they're MAGIC ROCKS!

* * *

Savor Solitude, friends. If you don't have an afternoon to devote to YOU, take five, ten, fifteen minutes and just do something for you.

Escape.

Breathe.

Enjoy the silence.

A Random Kind of Day

A random kind of day deserves a random kind of post, so I'm going to try something a little different here. Rather than write my standard, excruciatingly long, paragraph-form post, how about just a brief synopsis of the hilights?

* * *

I went to the dentist this morning so they could make impressions of my teeth for teeth-whitening trays. I abhor the dentist, but because I am vain and want pearly whites, I tolerated a morning of being stripped of my dignity. Not only did one of the hygienists remark "Wow. You have really big teeth, don't you?", but they also informed me that I have a "child-size mouth" and as such, made impressions using KID sized teeth trays. So in essence, I have a child's mouth, with big, Mr. Ed horse teeth. And did I mention that this whole procedure is not cheap?

* * *

After the dentist, I ran a couple of errands and then headed over to the mall. I've been on a rampage lately to spice up my boring wardrobe and add a little color without breaking the bank. The answer, of course? Forever 21. Yes, that's right. I still shop there, and I am not twenty-one. So I redeemed a gift card, store credit and spent a little cash and walked out with a bag full of goodies:

* * *

I felt guilty for skipping a workout yesterday, so I pulled into the parking lot at the gym and had to talk myself into actually getting out of the car and walking my lazy butt inside. I sat in the locker room procrastinating (Tweeting and then texting The Hubs, whining about how completely unmotivated I was to work out). As always, however, once I got going the endorphins kicked in. Yay! Did a little cross-training and then ran an easy 3-miles, making sure to kick it into high-gear for the last mile, increasing my pace to 8:34/mile. The battery to my iPod died of course, so I ran in silence while watching one of the gym monitors, set on whatever soap opera Erica Kane is on (hasn't she been on this soap opera for like, eighty years or something?!).

* * *

Came home so famished my stomach started eating itself, so I hurriedly pulled random ingredients from the refrigerator and made myself some lunch:

Raw spinach, alfalfa sprouts, one scrambled egg, mozzarella cheese, cranberries and sliced pears on a whole-wheat flax wrap with a tsp. of Papaya Seed Dressing.

My husband reads my blog, so I am sure he is probably gagging right now, but I have to say...as random as this wrap was, it was pretty darn good! Try it sometime. :) You're welcome.

* * *

Now I am off to my little art-studio to throw some paint around and work on the inventory for my Etsy shop!

WWWHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Hope everyone is having a fantabulous Monday!

Honoring the Dads in My Life

I am a lucky girl. I have not one, not two, but three Dads in my life, and today, although I live apart from all of them, I am celebrating each one of them and my heart is filled with gratitude for their presence in my life.

First, there is my Poppa. My Poppa and I are so much alike it's actually kind of scary; we share a deep passion for art, books and solitude, and have mirror-like personality traits. So much so that when we are all together Phil will often comment: "Wow. Now I understand." I still get a kick out of seeing so much of my father in me; we both eat our french fries with mayonnaise. We both sit indian-style at every meal...even in restaurants (yes, I am that uncouth). We both find it therapeutic to create, often losing ourselves in our craft. And we both find solitude an absolute necessity; the quiet time to dig deep and reflect--to nurture our passions, fueling this aspect of ourselves that cries for our undivided attention.

I love my Poppa so much it physically hurts my heart. I am grateful to this amazing man for bringing me into this world, for understanding me in a way that runs so deep, words are not required, and for being not just my Dad, but a friend, too.

And there is my stepdad, Bill, who honestly, I have always referred to as "my Dad" while growing up. He has been there for me during the most crucial (and most difficult) years of my life, when I was a bratty, know-it-all teen. So dedicated, he was always wanting the best for me, supporting me and loving me, despite my nasty and rebellious phases, being strict enough to keep me in line but not so strict that he didn't allow me to grow and become my own person. And as the years have passed, he, too, has become my friend, and I love him very much. Beyond all that, he takes care of my Momma and makes her SO happy, and I am so very thankful for that. As you may recall, my Momma and my stepdad were here visiting recently; it was so great to spend quality time with them, soaking in the one-on-one time and just enjoying one another's company.

And then there is my Father-in-Law, Paul. This is a man who I so deeply admire and respect; not only did he raise an incredible son who would later become my husband, but he is deeply committed to the Lord and lives a Godly life. And when we are together, I feel an insatiable desire to learn, to question, to emulate and to continually strive to become a better person; and this is so important to me, because I firmly believe that I am a work in progress and that I am not done growing. My Father-in-Law is an amazing human being with a beautiful outlook on life; I am both honored and grateful for his presence in our lives and to be able to call him "Pops".

My father-in-law has been struggling with some health issues as of late and has been working very hard towards a full-recovery from a recent stroke. While we continue to keep him in our thoughts and prayers, I would love and appreciate if you would also say a quick prayer, asking for a full recovery. Thank you so much.

I am eternally grateful to God and the Universe for the gift of Dads; I don't think I would be the person I am today if it weren't for these incredibly influential men in my life. I hope you all had a wonderful Sunday, celebrating the important men in your life, too.

Love and Aloha,
xoxo - Angie

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Yesterday began under the guise of any normal day, but by 9:00am it was anything but. It was one of those days when the apparent mission of the Universe was to teach me a lesson, testing me to "walk the walk" and Live Aloha like I so often write about.

Blogging is what you make of it; you get out of it what you put into it. When I first started blogging, I promised myself that this blog would be as real as it gets, and I think it's fair to say that anyone who has been reading along since last August would agree. It behooves any blogger to be honest and real. It would be so easy to blog about a seemingly perfect life, but let's call a spade a spade: Life just isn't so.

And while I don't want this space to breed negativity, I will say that yesterday was definitely one of my least favorite days. It does help, however, to have a husband who knows how to cheer his wife up: bring her a tub of frozen-yogurt with mango and mochi, and all is well in the world again:

It also helps when said husband, at the end of the day, reminds you "not to sweat the small stuff", and then invites you out on the deck to catch a glimpse of the sun as it made its descent over the mountiains, leaving a brilliant sky in its wake:

Sunset Sammich.

So, yeah. Yesterday didn't necessarily go down in the books as one of the best days ever. I had a seriously bad hair day, I was feeling particularly unattractive because I ran out of contacts and had to wear glasses, I was kind of bitchy to the man on the phone whose company STILL has not shipped Phil's birthday present that was ordered two weeks ago, I am slammed at work and I'm struggling to find motivation in several areas of my life, but really...those are just minor details in the grand scheme of things.

I know that I am blessed and Life is Good.

* * *

What pick-me-ups work for you when you're having a bad day?

Ode to The Hubs

Today is The Hubs' birthday. We are very different in the sense that he never likes to make a big deal out of his day, whereas I am ALL about milking my birthday and ordering-up the special treatment (parties, friends and gifts? Sign me up!). In all our years together, I have only managed to surprise him with a party maybe four or five times (max) and while this is disappointing for me, I have to respect his wishes for a low-key, non-attention-grabbing celebration. As such, today is pretty much a regular day for him; he didn't take the day off work and we're not going to "celebrate" with a night out for dinner/drinks until this weekend. Poo. But I digress.

I did manage to get him out of the office for a bit this afternoon to go kiting, which for him, is a gift in and of itself. For those not in-the-know, my husband eats, lives and breathes the sport. I'm not exxagerating when I say that he spends so much time in the ocean that he has grown gills over the last five years. He is happiest when he is under the sunshine and out on the water, so I was happy to oblige today, snapping photos of him while he played.

[Photo taken with the Go Pro camera]

So while he works the remainder of the day, I am back at home playing the dutiful wife, lounging around and blogging making our home all pretty and preparing to cook him his favorite meal for dinner.

Happy Birthday, Phil! I love you to the moon and back!

When Spontaneity Calls

At about 6:30pm last night, Phil suddenly had the urge to take a drive to try and capture some video footage of the Jacaranda trees during dusk. I wasn't really in the mood, as I'd long been in decompression-mode (what with my busy day and all), lounging on the couch in my cotton gauchos and becoming one with the furniture. It will be fun...I'd love for you to join me, he said. And when he puts it that way, how can I resist? There may or may not have been a bit of eye-rolling, but I rallied, got dressed and grabbed my camera (because if I got bored, surely I could find something to take photos of).

We drove to the base of the Haleakala crater and at about 2,500 feet, we turned around and pulled over so that we had a view of the West Maui mountains, Central Maui and the sunset:

My sights quickly zeroed in on the horses grazing in the field; while Phil began setting up his video equipment, I made my way across the street and to the edge of the chicken-wire fence where I began calling to them. I never expected them to come, but they did.

For the next half-hour, I found myself crawling along the fence, knee-deep in grass and pulling handfuls of it to feed to them. It was the sweetest thing ever, to have them eating from my hands what they could very well graze for on their own. But I loved every minute of it and before too long, Phil was beside me, capturing video footage and still photos of The Horse Whisperer that is I. :)

The timing of our little excursion could not have been better; the clouds made for an amazing palette of vibrant colors against the heavy and dark sky:

Suffice it to say, Phil never got the footage he needed of the Jacaranda trees, but we both had a spontaneous Saturday evening of fun. You know, just horsing around. Ha! When Spontaneity calls, you answer. :)

* * *

We are off to our friends' for brunch this morning and then heading to The Republik Musik Festival, which I am SO excited for...hours of Reggae music, good friends and good times!

Happy Weekending, friends!

What are your plans for the rest of the weekend?

Well Hello, Saturday...

I love lazy weekend mornings, when my body knows I don't have to be at work and it lets me sleep--hard--until at least 8:00am. What would make these moments even sweeter is if my husband would sleep in with me. This of course, is physically impossible for him. He is a remarkably productive morning person; while I was still on my 5th REM cycle at 8:00am this morning, he had already eaten breakfast, brewed a pot of coffee and had started on the laundry - and all while multi-tasking at the computer. Superhero.

I am SO not a breakfast eater (I know. I know.), but skipping dinner last night left me with a voracious appetite this morning, so I whipped up a little something-something in the kitchen.

Spinach, egg and cheese in a whole-wheat flax wrap. With a side of tomatoes.

It was yummy, and I made it with organic eggs and spinach (are you reading, Momma? I knew this would make you proud!). I could only eat half of it; not to worry though...I can force Phil to eat the other half, once he comes home from filling our propane tank. See what I mean? Yes, he is out doing errands already, while I am contributing to this household by taking pictures of my food and blogging about it. ;)

We don't have any concrete plans for today; I am heading to the gym in a bit for a hard-core workout and then I am thinking of a pedicure, because my feet are in sad shape. And then maybe I will head to the mall to spend some money and gift cards.

I love weekends.

* * *

How are you lovely peeps spending YOUR Saturday?

Out on a Limb and Learning to Fly

Recently, while driving out of the parking lot after spending a morning at the DMV (fun times), I came to a stop when I spied a tiny, dark mound of feathers moving erratically on the concrete in front of my car. Having no shame, I flicked on my hazard-lights, held up traffic (yes, I was that girl) and got out to find a baby bird wobbling helplessly on the hot pavement. I grabbed the latest issue of Runners World magazine from my passengers seat, scooped him up (I don't know why I always assume male) in between pages 27 and 28, and deposited him on the grass. And I did all this while the Momma and Poppa birds squawked incessantly, dive-bombing me from their perch on the tree above, straight out of Hitchcock's The Birds. Of course I had to take pictures, while nervously anticipating the sting of tiny talons on my scalp. Funny, yes, but it was actually kind of scary.

He's cute, no?

What I found really interesting about this chance encounter was not the momentary narcissistic satisfaction I felt that I had quite possibly saved this little guy's life, but that he had absolutely no fear of me. He looked up at me with his big, dark eyes, didn't flinch when I scooped him up, and stared at me--as if listening intently to my soothing words--while I laid him gently on the grass. No Fear. And as quickly as this scene unfolded, he cocked his little head back and closed his eyes.

I am not afraid. I will rest when I am tired.

And all this got me to thinking: here is this tiny, vulnerable bird, exposed to the world and its elements, learning to fly. He hasn't yet mastered the skill, but by instinct alone, he keeps trying. And when he stumbles, his parents are there, looking on and doing their best to encourage him and protect him. And he keeps trying, without fear of failure.

I learned a life-lesson that day. And all from a baby bird.

* * *

I wanted to share with everyone that I am opening my Etsy shop on July 1st. I have dreamed about this day for so long, always managing to talk myself out of it due to fear: the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of inadequacy. I find myself enamoured with the work of brilliant artists (both past and present) and constantly worry that my work will not measure up. And then I have to remind myself that this isn't a competition; I create art for me. I want to use my talents to glorify God, and I believe that this pleases Him.

Peacock #2. Inspired by the baby bird.

I trust that there is plenty of room in this world for art like mine. I am Out on a Limb and Learning to Fly.

And like the baby bird, I will not be afraid. I will rest when I am tired.

* * *

Thank you everyone, for your kind comments on my last post; I was really touched by your supportive feedback and words of love...thank you so much! xoxo!

On Vulnerability and Authenticity

Every now and then, I will write because I am inspired by something I have absorbed through one of my five senses; something that moves me by sight, sound, touch, taste or smell. And other times, I am inspired to write because of something so unorthodox as a recent episode of The Bachelorette (don't judge).

I Tivo'd last night's episode and watched it this afternoon; this episode hit close to home, not because I have lost my ever-loving mind and put myself on a reality show, exposing myself to unbridled scrutiny all in the name of love (Lord, no.), but because that poor girl...despite her quick rise to "fame" by network standards, at the end of the day, she is still human: vulnerable and painfully insecure. And I can relate.

I'll quickly gloss over the fact that her participation in a reality show was a personal choice; her insecurities however, really spoke to me, because these are things I feel myself, everyday, all the time. The fear of rejection. The fear of not being good enough. The fear of disappointing people. It's uncanny, really, that despite race, class or social stature, when it gets down to it, we're all one in the same: we all want to be liked and we all seek approval, whether or not we are willing to admit it. We strive to be different (though not glaringly so) - to stand out in a crowd and to own our uniqueness, but we also do this, cautiously. Because in our attempts to celebrate our authenticity, heaven forbid we should step on any toes, offend, or worse yet, hurt someone's feelings.

Be Yourself. Everyone else is already taken.

- Oscar Wilde

When I first started this blog, I made the personal choice to blog publicly. Certainly, I could have played it safe and blogged privately, for my own benefit or for only those whom I've invited to read along. But I made a conscious choice to be open; to blog to anyone or to no one, simply because I love to write. But that does not mean that this decision comes without fear. Fear is very much a reality to me.

While perusing other blogs, I often find myself in that lackluster place; feeling less than. As terrible as it makes me feel to admit to this, I also have moments where I covet. I covet your homes. Your lifestyles. Your travels. Your adventures. Your beauty. The list goes on. And it's a vicious cycle, really. I read your blogs because I so enjoy them; I enjoy reading about each of you; learning about who you are, what makes you tick, what makes you, you. But it's also a Catch-22, because while I am reading (and enjoying) what you all so freely share, there are moments when it makes me feel worse about myself.

I am not proud of this trait---quite the contrary. In actuality, I am ashamed, because these feelings contradict my desire to possess a positive self-image. But again, I am human, and I am flawed. Despite all this, there is light at the end of the tunnel. While I may still have my bouts of insecurity, I am in a much better place today, than I was, say, five or even ten years ago. I am much more comfortable in my skin now, than I was back then. And I am learning, every day, to accept me for me...flaws and all.

So I may not be tall enough. Or thin enough, or pretty enough. I may not have a sprawling home with living spaces worthy of a spread in Architectural Digest - or, here on the Blogosphere, creativity that warrants a feature on Young House Love. I may not have the latest and greatest in handbags or clothing or jewelry or shoes. But what I DO have, is an amazing life, filled with amazing family and friends. All of my basic needs are provided by a God who loves me so. I have a husband who loves me and who tells me that I am beautiful, every day. We have our health, our jobs, a roof over our heads and food on the table. It seems silly...almost trite, to fret about anything else. I'd be doing myself a disservice if I spent my life trying to be someone I am not, instead of flourishing as the person He created me to be.

I am made in His image. And I am perfectly imperfect.

My point to all this?

Love yourself. Love who YOU are, at the core of your being.
Love your flaws. Love what differentiates you from the rest.
Embrace your individuality. Trust that you are perfect exactly as you are.
You are beautiful, you are unique, and you are loved.
Celebrate YOU.

* * *

:steps down from soap box:

So tell me...can you commiserate? Have you experienced similar thoughts/feelings on this topic? I'd love it if you would share! As always, thank you for reading along!

A Return to Calm

With my parents visiting last week, our days were filled with the metronome pattern of go, do, see, eat, drink, buy. It was wonderful to have them in town and waking to unfamiliar sounds throughout our home; my stepdad's voice in the kitchen, up early and chatting with Phil, the sound of my Momma's voice in the other room, speaking softly to Grace, who wandered curiously from room to room, knowing that things had deviated from the norm. It was a week of time well-spent: leisurely days in the sunshine, hours of laughter, meals infused with thoughtful conversation. And many tears, because I am my mother's daughter. And just like her, I am sensitive and emotional; the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I see so much of myself in her. And I love this.

Like mother, like daughter. Unable to resist lattice that resembles a mirror.

When you live apart from family and visits are few and far between, you learn to maximize your time together, grasping these precious moments with both hands and living, fully. Everything else falls to the wayside, because all you want to do is absorb every possible moment with these beautiful souls who have not only helped to mold you into the person you are today, but whose company brings you a sense of love, harmony...and home.

Each visit with my parents becomes increasingly difficult as I grow older; that precise moment of goodbye, when we exchange hugs and kisses is painful, and the silence that follows in its wake is like a knife to the heart. It has been a handful of days since my parents left for Oahu to visit extended family, and almost a full two days since they returned to their home in California. I've been a mess since then, my throat tightening at the sight of every visual reminder of their brief stay with us; the remainder of the loaf of taro bread my stepdad purchased, still sitting in our refrigerator. The cork to the Moet & Chandon champagne that we drank to toast our joint anniversary celebrations. Even the waste-basket that I emptied from the spare bedroom this afternoon...all these little pieces of evidence from the last week or so that are like a punch in the gut when I see them. Distance is hard.

The Hubs and I, we're getting back to the state of us. It's been a slow process, but the house is nearly back to its normal state, we're enjoying home-cooked meals again (eating out is good and a nice change of pace, but nothing tastes better than a meal made with your own two hands, in your own pots and pans) and in the evenings, in lieu of buoyant laughter--loud enough to wake neighbors--and a clock reading hours past our normal bedtime, we've found our rhythm again in quiet conversation and familiar routine. And life is good.

I miss my family terribly; although it is difficult to spend quality time with loved ones only to have to say goodbye too soon, I still thank God for my family and the opportunity to spend time together, regardless.

Family is everything.

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Thank you for everything, Momma and Bill. We miss you and love you and look forward to seeing you again soon! xoxo.