Six Months

I've only a couple of hours until the stroke of midnight and Memorial Day is tucked away for another year, but it is important for me to write tonight. For posterity's sake.

I wanted to publicly thank all members of the armed forces; for those who serve (or have served) our country, including members of my own family: my late Grandfather, my uncle, my cousin and my little brother. I salute all the brave men and women--past and present-- who put themselves in harm's way, who fight and protect our nation and who do this with strength, honor and integrity. Thank you for all that you do.

* * *

And appropriately coinciding with Memorial Day, today marks the 6-month anniversary since my little brother's death.

Six Months.

My mind argues that this is a significant stretch of time, but my heart tells me otherwise. There are days when the wounds feel as fresh and as raw as they did on November 30th, 2010. It still hurts, but every day, I continue to heal. My grief has taught me a great deal about myself and the strength I did not know I posessed; there is a clarity to my perspective on life - my resolve to Carpe Diem and to live with intent and purpose. And despite my rose-colored glasses and this dusting-of-sugar on an otherwise painful chapter of Life, I assure you that I am human. There are moments when I feel defeat. Random moments throughout any give day when my shoulders sag, my throat tightens and a sob rises from deep within my chest.

This pain and emotion...it is real and it reminds me that I am alive. But it is also beautiful, because it is a testament to the very person that Nick was and the beautiful spirit that he is.

Six Months.

* * *

I Love you and miss you, Nicky.

Family First

I am missing the cathartic act of writing over a steaming cup of freshly brewed coffee (or a glass of wine, depending on the time of day), but the parentals are in town visiting--I am over the moon about it--and for now, this will be a quickie post. Family First...but more to come.

It has been so great to spend quality time with my Momma and stepdad, and The Hubs and I have been playing hosts, filling their days with activities that strike a happy balance between keeping active while still relaxing in nature.

(Recycled photo from the parentals visit last year)

I'm enjoying my week of regression, allowing my Momma to sweep me throughout Costco--twice in as many days--to stock our house up with goods, enjoying lunches and dinners out (now that The Hubs and I have lifted our 2-week challenge to Eat In), and allowing My Momma to wear her "Mom's cap", as she is now washing dishes and cleaning my kitchen.

Is it wrong that I am enjoying feeling like a kid again?

We are off for another day of adventure. Have a blessed Saturday, friends!

Love Your Neighbor: Breaking Bread

I came home and walked up the stairs to our front door when the late afternoon breeze carrying the unmistakable scent of bananas wafted under my nose. Random, I thought. I turned on the landing and from the corner of my eye I spied a delightfully bright bunch of bananas resting proudly against the white banister of our deck. Produce? Here? Confused, I walked over to the rich, bundle of fruit and immediately smiled:

Sweet, Hawaiian bananas.

We are very fortunate and have lovely neighbors; there is something to be said about the feel-good, slightly hippie-ish vibe of living upcountry, where there is room to breathe, the pace is slow and smiles flourish. In the two years since we made the move from our tiny, South-side condo on the beach to our little home upcountry, my love for the simple, island lifestyle has magnified, ten-fold. To have thoughtful neighbors who want to share the literal fruits of their labor is priceless; it is a lifestyle we were not accustomed to while living in Silicon Valley, where corporate demands left little in the reserve-tanks for neighborly love.

As instructed, we helped ourselves. And while I am known to be meticulously picky when it comes to scrutinizing the ripening stages of bananas, Phil is much more forgiving and will eat them at any stage, so long as they aren't brown and riddled with fruit flies.

So what's one to do with multiple hands of bananas? Why, you break (and bake) bread, of course!

I'm not much of a baker, but to my husband's absolute delight, I decided to bake two loaves of banana bread. We kept one loaf for ourselves and I sent Phil over to the neighbors with the other warm loaf, wrapped carefully in tinfoil.

This is only the second time in my life I've made banana bread (gasp!) and for the novice that I am, I must say that it turned out mucho delicio-so. I preemptively tweaked the recipe a bit and ommitted the walnuts, as I cannot get my husband to eat a nut of any kind to save my life.

Recipe for Hawaiian Banana Bread:

3 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
2 cups white sugar
1 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
3 eggs, beaten
1 cup vegetable oil
2 cups mashed (very ripe) bananas
2 tsp. vanilla extract

1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease two 9x5 inche loaf pans.

2) In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, salt, baking soda, sugar and cinnamon. Add walnuts (optional), eggs, oil, bananas and vanilla. Stir just until blended. Pour batter evenly into greased pans.

3) Bake at 350 degrees for 60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a loaf comes out clean. Cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool completely.

4) Cut, eat and enjoy the happiness, smiles and gratitude from your husband and neighbors. :)

All this creativity in the kitchen as of late, and I am scoring some MAJOR points with The Hubs!

Girlfriends and the Yesteryears

There are moments in life when girlfriend-bonding time calls for an afternoon over coffee and deep conversation that lasts longer than the contents that any venti-sized coffee cup can offer. And there are days when bonding requires relaxation and pampering of the soul, calling forth side-by-side massages infused with the scent of lavender oil, or manicures and pedicures that leave us feeling girly and pretty and well-taken-care-of. But there are also moments in life when time spent with girlfriends means a night out complete with dinner, cocktails and bass-thumping music that propels you to the dance-floor, where you throw caution to the wind and find yourself shakin' it like a polaroid picture, as if you were twenty again. Which I'm not.

Last week was hellacious; packed with a litany of work-related events and tons of overtime hours, I was in dire need of some decompression with the girls. Although I was finding it hard to rally, by 8:30pm on Saturday night, I had my second wind and met up with the girls for some fun. And good times were had by all.

The obligatory shot of Patron to jump-start the evening.

There was a time back in the day when a night out with girlfriends signified a rite of passage to one's youth; purchasing an outfit specifically for the occasion, dancing to deafening music in a prerequisite circle of friends, clinking glasses and toasting to good fortune, and in my single days, strategizing ways to draw the attention of the cute guy making eyes at me from across the room. Though these days are happily behind me, Saturday night brought me back to that time in my life and I found myself smiling at the many moments of deja-vu.

I purchased an outfit specifically for the occasion. I danced to deafening music in that prerequisite circle of friends. I clinked glasses and toasted to good fortune. And I did all this without caring whether or not any guy was making eyes at me from across the room.

Two watermelon martinis and a shot of Patron make me successful at ruining a good photo.

Saturday night was fun; not only was it the perfect way to end a hectic work week, but it reminded me of my younger days, if only for a moment.

My life is much different now, providing me with a sense of comfort and stability that was missing back then. I didn't stay out until the sun was rising, I didn't drink myself sick, I didn't stumble into my house and forget to lock the door behind me. I got home before 1:30am, managed to wash off my makeup, take out my contacts and brush my teeth. But the best part about it? Sliding under cool sheets and cozying up to my husband's warm body.

And I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

Good Eats

With my recent shopping excursion and committment to preparing meals as opposed to eating out, I've been trying my hand at some new recipes in the kitchen. I've challenged myself to venture out of my comfort zone and expand my menu--beyond the oh, maybe 10 different meals I make on rotation--and lucky for Phil, he is my guinea pig. With him as my solo audience, this is a challenge in and of itself, as he is a real meat-and-potatoes kind of guy. Fortunately, he's open minded enough to try new things, but secretly, I think he's just excited by the novelty of some new menu items.

Last night, I prepared baked mahi-mahi marinated in Papaya Seed dressing and laid on a bed of fresh spinach (horrid lighting and poor picture quality, I know, but it was late). I also made my own version of mango salsa which I placed on top of the fish. I was so proud of the outcome. Not only was the dish pretty, colorful and healthy, but it was delicious, if I do say so myself! On the side, I baked some pita bread drizzled with olive oil and mozzarella cheese, because really, cheese is good with anything!

Recipe for Mango Salsa:

1 mango - seeded and diced
1/2 cup diced red bell pepper
1/2 cup diced cucumber
1/3 cup diced red onion
2 tbsp. chopped cilantro
1 tbsp. lemon juice
1 tbsp. lime juice
salt & pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients, toss and enjoy! My only suggestion is to purchase a mango that is just shy of complete ripeness (hard to the touch), as it will be slightly tart and a perfect complement to the fish.

I have some new menu ideas in store for The Hubs and will share them with you all (assuming they are a success) in the weeks to come!

Hope everyone is having a beautiful day!

Resistance is Futile

I have vacillated on whether or not to join the ranks of the social-networking craze, often finding myself faced with the inevitable conundrum: Do I cruise along comfortably in the apparent Dark Ages or do I get with the times? Not one to feel left out of all the fun shy away from learning something new, I opted for the latter. But the truth is, I need another internet addiction like I need a hole in the head.

I've resisted for two years now, never quite understanding the purpose of Twitter or why anyone would be remotely interested in reading about the random minutae of my life. But then I quickly realized that yes, I blog, and in essence, you lovely people are actually reading about the random minutae of my life, only in paragraph form, as I am not limited to 140 characters (and for the record, I do so appreciate your interest in reading along!).

And so, I caved. As some of you may have already noticed and have reciprocated the follow, I'm on Twitter now. I'm still trying to navigate my way around there, but as with all new things, I just need a little practice. Quite honestly, I'm not very good about marketing myself, and coinciding with some new changes coming down the pipes, I decided that it was time to put myself out there (a big thanks to Jenni, for the encouragement!).

So help a girl out, will ya? If you're also on Twitter, follow me. Mahalo! Hug hug, kiss kiss!

Bow-Chica-Wow-Wow...

Over the weekend, I photographed the OluKai Ho'olaule'a Stand-Up paddle race for work; this is the second year in a row that I've photographed this inspiring and goosebump-inducing event, and I'm thinking that next year I'll be a competitor and not just a spectator. But I digress...

Prior to the start of the race, I was setting up my equipment when a mere ~100 yards offshore, what do I spy?

(Disclaimer: Respectfully, no contact was made with the turtles for the sake of these photos. All photos were shot using a 300mm lens.)

Is it wrong that I stood there taking photos of two Hawaiian green sea turtles sharing a beautiful and private moment? And is it also wrong that as I'm snapping away, I am hearing Bow-Chica-Wow-Wow in my head and thinking that this one is going on the blog? Seriously, though...honus need some lovin' too. And my...they can go for hours.

And because this kind of activity can be tiring, it's nice to be able to just lounge on the beach and take a nap afterwards. Without the annoying girl and her camera, that is.

* * *

Happy Monday, friends! Have a beautiful day!

Runner's High and Accountability

I've lots to share here on the blog so I'll try to break it down into bite-sized pieces. Tangent: is it just me, or did anyone else go through withdrawals when Blogger went down last week? I was a hot-mess over here but checked myself when I remembered that this is a FREE service I am provided and can't I just give the Blogger Staff a break? Thank you, Blogger Peeps, for restoring my last post! Now pretty please, can you also do the same for all the comments from my lovely friends and readers that were eaten as well? Kiss-kiss!

I slept in this morning until 8:00am and it felt heavenly; Phil was already awake and coffee was brewing, so I laid in bed and he lovingly brought me my laptop so as to enhance my lazing-experience. It was bliss. :) I may or may not have laid around in bed until 11:30am catching up on email and reading blogs. Oops.

I finally got my butt in gear and headed to the gym to get my run on. I am overcome by motivation and inspiration in a number of areas in my life, so I am happily holding the reins and riding along. After 1/2 hour of strength training (which I am in dire need of - more on that, later), I hopped on the treadmill and ran an amazing 5-miles at a steady 9:05 pace. I felt awesome (so awesome that as I am typing this post, I am in the mood to lace up my shoes and go running again); it feels SO GOOD to be back in the running saddle again. I was so high from the surge of endorphins that it didn't even bother me that I had to go back into the locker-room to swap out my dead iPod for my iPhone and a new set of earphones. And while on the subject, I think something is wrong with my ears. They have a knack for ruining earphones; they destroy them, if you will.

[Exhibit A: 4 pair of NON working head-phones I had stashed in the side-pocket of my gym bag (yes, I have since cleaned out said bag)].

I don't know what to make of this. Either I have the worst luck with earphones, or I have hungry, angry ears. So for now, until I can get a replacement for my favorite pair of headphones (#1 - Sony), I have to resort to a back-up, back-up pair. Booooooo. But it's all good, because I got a great workout in today and I'm still flying high.

I left the gym and did AAAAALLLLLL the grocery/house shopping for the next two weeks (this involved three separate stops, so my day was full) and now our cupboards and refrigerator are fully stocked. And this is where the accountability factor comes in.

While cleaning out my wallet the other day, I looked through the fistful of receipts I had been hoarding. To my surprise, 80% of them were from Whole Foods, for numerous lunches and mid-day snacks. And while I'm being honest, I will admit that I am a horrible wife and rarely pack lunches for my husband. :( As such, I make these daily trips to buy lunch for us and deliver them to him down the hall in the middle of the work day. Seemingly innocent and easy, right? Out of curiosity, I added up the totals from each of these receipts over a two-week period and I was MORTIFIED.

HOW is it possible that I can spend so much in one place over a span of TWO WEEKS? Seriously. Do you want to know how much I spent at Whole Foods in the last fourteen days? ** Phil: avert your eyes. Scroll down. And remember that I love you! ** I spent almost $220. ON LUNCHES AND SNACKS. Blasphemy!

So I am challenging myself for the next two weeks: NO BUYING LUNCHES OR DINNERS - and I am putting this in writing so that I can be held accountable. Armed with my shopping lists today, I bought groceries (and spent less than I did at WF) that would allot us enough lunches/dinners for the next two weeks...and all healthy, to boot! I stocked up on fish, chicken, fruits, produce and all the "extras" that make my salads heaven (spinach, olives, cranberries, walnuts, almond slices, etc.)

Just throwing in the visuals because I know you all wanted to see the contents of our refrigerator and freezer. :) And yes, that is Mochi ice-cream and B&J that you spy. The Hubs' still needs his treats, you know. Ok, I lied. The Mochi ice-cream is really for me. But the Ben & Jerry's is really for Phil. :)

* * *

Well, so much for bite-sized! This post is long enough, so I'm going to sign-off for now. Dinner, my husband and reruns of The Office call. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

I can see clearly now...

...the rain is gone!

We've had a weird weather front hovering over the islands the last few days; days that had us waking to the sound of rainfall on our roof, a sky the color of ash and low temps that prolonged the wake-up process, our bodies begging to keep us in bed and under the covers. There is a tangible comfort in days reminiscent of winter; a chill that requires a sweatshirt, fuzzy socks on the feet and an inkling for warm soup in the belly. For about five minutes. Because I love me some sun.

6:40am: The rain is gone and the skies are blue. I awake to a symphony of bird songs and monarch butterflies dancing in the breeze outside our bedroom window. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee makes its way into the bedroom and a lazy, purring, 11-pound kitty sits like a heavy rock on top of my belly. Life is grand!

And I'm all about keeping it real. It'd be great if I were outdoors, relaxing and celebrating the Sun's glorious return. But I'm not. Instead, I am sitting in my office, under a low sky of fluorescent lighting, a temperamental copy machine humming to my right and an overly enthusiastic air-conditioner that sinks the office temperature to that of a meat-locker. I am so hungry my stomach is eating itself, my feet are cold and in dire need of a pedicure, I'm having a bad hair day and I'd rather be painting...plein air style. Adulthood is so overrated.

But yeah. Life is still grand. :)

Guest Posting

'Morning, friends. Today, I'm hanging out over at the lovely Jenni's blog...perhaps you already know her? Of course you would! She's the beautiful author of the lifestyle-turned-fashion-and-photography-blog, Story of My Life.

She's adorable, no?

I am one of "7 Stories from 7 Bloggers" and I am guest-posting while Jenni is away on vacation; if you're not already a reader, be sure and check out her blog...and then come back and try and tell me you're not hooked. ;)

Have a beautiful day!

Momma's Day

My Momma lives in California. I get to see her beautiful face every Sunday via Skype calls, but I still miss her like crazy. Living ~2,500 miles away from her has always been challenging, but it is especially difficult on days like Mother's Day or her birthday; I find myself wishing I were a kid again, back at home and bounding into my parent's room early in the morning with my handmade cards and gifts, ready to begin the day-long celebration that is all about her. Memories like these have a way of making me feel safe and remind me of all the comforts of home, where I was wrapped in a cocoon of childhood security and innocence. These memories are like slipping on a pair of old, worn-out shoes and remembering instantly just how comfortable and good and familiar these shoes feel under your feet.

My childhood feels so long-ago and far away, yet thoughts of my Momma bring me back to my younger years, when Life felt so big and scary and uncertain, and nothing could make me feel as brave and protected and loved the way holding my Momma's hand, or feeling her arm around my shoulders did.

My Momma and Me.

Grown as I am, when I am around her, I still enjoy the opportunity to regress a little. I love snuggling next to her and feeling her instinctively run her fingers through my hair, pulling it gently into a braid or a ponytail...just as she did when I was little. I love that I can hold her hand not because we are crossing the street, but because holding her hand makes me feel deeply and literally connected to her. I love that despite my age, she still forces me to eat whatever she puts in front of me; except that now, I am no longer fighting her and working the gag-reflex card to my advantage. Instead, I feel loved and cared for, because my Momma is feeding me. And that's what Mommas do...they feed their children.

I am much taller than her now, but I love that to this day, she still makes me feel like her little girl again.

I love you and I miss you, Momma, but am counting the days until I see you again - SOON! Thank you for the beautiful and selfless person that you are and for the love and joy you bring to our family. Happy Mother's Day!

* * *

...and a Happy Momma's Day to all of you, my friends (furbabies count!). Wishing you a day filled with sunshine and love!

Cinco de Mayo

Crowded restaurants and live music. Mexican food and salt-rimmed margaritas in ridiculously large glasses. Good friends and boisterous laughter. An obligatory round of Patron shots. Sly glances at wrist-watches and the sudden realization that all are pushing the envelope; it is a work night, after all.

Cinco de Mayo. These are all the ways we did NOT celebrate this year. Instead, we wrapped up our work day with friends, toasting one another with a single round of icy, cold Coronas before making a bee-line for home. We're just not feeling the party-vibe this year.

Our hi-light of the evening?

Why, that would be PIE, of course!

Strawberry-Rhubarb Pie (clearly, it takes very little to please us)

Like every other night this week, Phil sacrificed a home-cooked meal all in the name paint and creativity. Although I had plans to cook dinner, he quickly dismissed the idea and sent me to the studio with a cheese sandwich, instead. I painted. He played video games.

And then we had pie.

It's almost 10:00pm and now we're off to bed.

Cinco de Mayo. I liked our low-key celebration.

* * *

I've responded to most of you via email, but to those who still haven't linked their email address to their profile (hint-hint), I want to thank you for your enthusiastic comments to my previous post. I'll be back this weekend to share the deets with you!

Happy Aloha Friday! xoxo

Encouraging Creativity

I've been on a painting rampage lately. Motivation like this is rare, so when it strikes, I've learned to grab hold of it with both hands and ride the wave until it peters out. I have had a couple of productive weeks, spending days off in my art studio and on work days, coming home (after a 10-hour day at the office, no less), immediately slipping into my painting-clothes and getting to work at "Job # 2". This type of schedule is exhausting, but it's also pretty amazing how the body comes alive when you're doing something you are passionate about.

My husband is my biggest fan and an incredible support system. Over the years, he has learned to recognize the signs of the ever-elusive wave of inspiration; when it arrives, like clock-work and without any prompting, he is there for me. And he steps up.

I am in the midst of completing a painting that I started a mere two days ago; in those moments when I'm away from home, all I can think about is this painting...what I will do with it, the colors I will add to the canvas, a guess-timate of the number of strokes it will take for me to complete. And today was no different. I arrived home from work shortly before Phil; by the time he'd walked through the front door, I was already in paint-mode, bent over my easel and carefully blending Cricket and Parakeet to arrive at a happy medium of green.

It is 6:30 pm. I am on a roll and immersed in creative juices, but I pause for a "hello" that includes a bear-hug and a kiss. He gestures for me to sit down and carry on, and I oblige. Ten minutes later, he returns with a glass of red wine, kisses me on my forehead and says: "...to encourage your creativity." He knows me so well. :)

So I paint. I paint until my neck aches and my wrist cracks and my wine glass is empty and Pandora asks: "Are you still listening?" And I sit back and cock my head to one side in a futile attempt to catch a glimpse of my painting from a different perspective. And while I am planning my next brush-stroke, Phil enters the room again, plate in hand. He has made me dinner. Tonight, I am given reprieve from cooking; we are not expected to sit down together to eat, because this thing called Inspiration, it's a guest, and Phil knows all too well that my guest and I? We're in The Zone.

My husband (who isn't much of a cook) lovingly prepared a meal for me. In all its kindness and simplicty, it made my heart swell:

I am presented with my go-to comfort food: Cheese Quesadillas with Papaya Seed Dressing (yes, it sounds weird and yes, it's good). And paired with my glass of red wine? I'm keepin' it classy, folks. 'Cause that's how I roll.

I didn't finish my painting, but I'm well on my way. I anticipate final touches tomorrow evening...after cooking dinner, of course. :)

I love my husband. And I love that he encourages creativity.

* * *

I have exciting art-related announcements coming down the pipes, my friends. Stay tuned.

About Last Night...

For posterity's sake, I had initially written a long post of my thoughts surrounding the historic event that occurred last night; as quickly as I'd written these thoughts down, I hi-lighted the screen and in one keystroke, deleted it all. I hesitate to write about anything remotely political on my public blog, because I don't want to risk inviting debate or negativity to a place I have created specifically for goodness and positivity. I continue to pray for the lives lost, the families who have suffered from 9/11 and extend a gracious and heartfelt Thank You to all those who have served and continue to serve our country.

And so, I will reference only this:

Matthew 5:43-45

"43 You have heard the law that says, 'Love your neighbor' and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you. 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For He gives His sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he rains on the just and the unjust alike."

...as you were.

May Day is Lei Day

May Day is Lei Day here in Hawaii...and today, like everyday, we're going to "milk" our day of rest and just embrace island life. This involves slowing our pace a bit more, soaking up the Vitamin D rays, drinking in the island palette of vibrant colors...and for me, I will wear a flower in my hair.

"...May Day is Lei Day in Hawaii.
Garlands of flowers, everywhere
All of the colors in the rainbow
Maidens with blossoms in their hair

Flowers that mean we should be happy
Throwing aside a load of care
Oh, May Day is Lei Day in Hawaii
May Day day is Happy Days out there..."

* * *

How are you spending today? Wishing you all a beautiful, sunshine-y weekend. Welcome to May!