I wonder how many levels of awesome I will write about until I'm paying over $5.00 a gallon? Gas prices have been at a stable $4.49/gallon (for Regular) for almost a week...that's an improvement!
On a much lighter note, I'm finding it a little hard to believe that it is already the end of March. A quarter of the year has already come and gone and by tomorrow, we'll be in April. How is that possible? Is this year flying by for the rest of you, too? With the arrival of Spring and a brand new month on the horizon, I am taking my blog in a new direction. I hope you'll stay tuned to read more about that tomorrow. I'm super excited and feeling very hopeful!
Finally, I wanted to say Hello and Welcome to my new readers. Thank you so much for your interest in this little blog of mine and all that I have to say. I appreciate you taking the time to read along, comment or to send me your thoughtful emails...hearing from you makes me happy! I would love to respond to each of you individually, but am having some difficulties because I'm unable to find your blog through your profile alone, or you don't have an email linked to your profile. Please consider this option as it makes it easier for us to interact with one another...and I would love to read more about YOU, so be sure leave me a link with your blog/website information so that I can return the favor!
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QUESTION OF THE DAY: to the reader who sent me an email and asked if my husband voluntarily shaves his head? Thank you for your question. :) The answer would be Yes. And No. Yes, in that he could grow out his hair if he wanted to. And No, in that he's considered doing this, but I'm the one resisting.
Without a doubt, one of my absolute favorite things to do is to spend an afternoon in the bookstore, armed with a handful of magazines and books and an iced, nonfat-white-chocolate-mocha perched expectantly on a side table, the cup dimpled with circular beads of condensation. Afternoons like these are lovingly referred to around these parts as Solo Dates: just me, my coffee and a stack of good reads. At least once every couple of weeks, I carve out a few hours to slip away from reality and immerse myself in whatever my mood calls for. On some days, I am fervently flipping through photography or art books, driven by the visual inspiration and jotting down notes along the way. On others, I'm absent-mindedly leafing through garbage (ie: the latest tabloid magazines) oogling over the latest handbag and jewelry trend, or getting my fix on celeb gossip (Emily & Brad, anyone? Am I the only one actually rooting for these two?). Phil is forever teasing me, unable to understand that these Solo Dates epitomize The Art of Doing Nothing; they are hours of "Me Time" that I so cherish.
These Solo Dates are spent at the Borders megastore right in the middle of town; it's close enough so that I don't feel guilty making a special trip just for this simple indulgence. I have come to really love and appreciate these afternoons, filled with hours of quiet and leisure and always leaving me feeling relaxed.
So imagine the great sadness that swept over me when I learned that this haven of mine, this building that houses a leather chair in the Reference Section with an ass-print all my own, is closing. Waaaaaaahh!
I received an email about the store closure last week and when I pulled into the parking lot over the weekend, it was confirmed. And I'm really, really sad!
The vibe in the store was chaotic and not at all what I am accustomed to; there was a line a mile long, signs--that SHOUTED at me in their affirmative fonts--hanging from every square foot of the ceiling. It was a zoo. And the cafe section where I normally make a beeline for my caffeine fix? It was dark and desolate, the counters naked, bare...and sad. I rounded a corner and literally bumped into Bill, one of the employees I have come to know and love over the years; the man who refuses to let his special needs hold him back. The man whose sweet and peaceful demeanor has taught me patience over the years. I hugged him and told him I was sorry that the store was closing and that I would miss seeing him. I asked him what he was going to do and his answer made me smile. "First, I'm going to sleep for a week. And then after that, I have to believe that everything will work out." Amen to that, Bill. Amen.
Not one to miss out on cashing-in and saving a few bucks, I stocked up on the books I've had on my wish list for a long time. And by the looks of my purchase, I'm set.
I know it sounds silly that I'm actually allowing myself to feel sad about the closure of this store, but it goes beyond my own selfish reasons; sure, I will miss the hours of "escape" I have logged here in the last few years, but I'm sad for the store. I'm sad for the employees; for Bill and for the cashier who started to cry when I told her how sad I was to see them go. Times are hard and jobs are scarce these days. I worry about what these people will do to make a living.
So yeah. I'm sad...I'm sad that my go-to bookstore is closing. And while there is still a Barnes & Noble on the West Side, it's a bit of a trek and not a visit I'm sure I'll be making on a whim. Not with the AWESOME gas prices of today! I would feel guilty making the half-hour drive to the West Side just for a few hours of peace and relaxation, when there are so many other little escapes within reach.
And so, this closure forces me to step outside my little bubble of predictability. To stretch beyond my comfort zone of familiarity and find peace and relaxation through other means.
I will explore the nooks and crannies of this island. And I will take you with me.
In light of the slew of depressing news coverage in both Japan and now Libya (and honestly, I know there are plenty of other countries I might add to this list), I haven't been feeling my blogging-mojo lately. A quick skim of my Google Reader and the limited posts suggests that many of you share in this awareness; it is understandable that our hearts and our minds are preoccupied with what is happening in the world around us (Book of Revelation, anyone?).
Truth be told, I have wanted to sit down and write, but there is a sense of guilt in enjoying such simple, mundane pleasures in my seemingly unaffected life. I wonder (with fear) if my posts will appear callous to current events, or if my time might be better spent brainstorming--and pioneering--ways that will help those who suffer and struggle, locally and abroad. And as this internal dialogue loops repeatedly, over-and-over in my mind, I am torn between wanting to saturate my mind with the news and images of today because it is reality and these things need to be seen, and wanting to rejoice in every little bit of goodness in my life, because this, too, is my reality.
This realization, of course, does not negate what continues to unfold in Japan or Libya (or Iraq or Afghanistan, for that matter); what it does do, is acknowledge and make real the very blessings for which I am grateful. In my heart, I don't belive that God finds me lacking in either sympathy or empathy, but in fact, recognizes my appreciation and understands my deep desire to reconcile the two: the reality of both the good and the bad.
And with that said, here is what brings me joy in these otherwise dark days of late:
I am enjoying those quiet moments that I can steal away with my husband, where we watch yet another amazing sunset together; always the same in their beauty, but different in their splendor.
I am enjoying the every day feel of warm sand between my toes...even when my toes are in sad shape, naked, in dire need of a pedicure and not at all pretty. But who cares? God thinks my toes are perfect. :)
I am enjoying that my job often finds me at the beach, photographing work-related ocean events, all the while working with someone who makes it all entirely too much fun. My friend (and sister-from-another-mother), Sofia.
I am enjoying being reunited with old friends. My friend Lisa (from kindergarten!) was here with her husband and beautiful, cherubic daughters, visiting from Colorado. Life has led us down different paths and we had not seen one another in TEN years, but our quick visit over dinner found us falling into the familiar rhythm of our friendship. Old friends are the best friends (I love you, Lisa)!
I am enjoying that a typical day off work means just another day at the beach. It's a day that may seem boring to most, but it's a day worth savoring, to us. Soaking in the hypnotic and soothing lull of the waves while the sun kisses your skin, breathing the salty air into your lungs and feeling the trade-winds swoop through your hair? Hands down, one of the best feelings...ever.
And finally, I am enjoying my husband's smile. If I had to choose between everyday beauty or a smile from my husband, I would choose the latter. Because while the rest of the world and all it's beauty is mine for the taking, Phil's smile is another thing, entirely. It gives me butterflies. It makes me feel loved. And it moves me.
Granted, it may take a little coaxing at first, but once it's there...it's there.
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Spend five minutes today to count your blessings, friends. Make the conscious decision to realize and be grateful for what we often mistake as rightfully ours. It might surprise you.
I'm spreading the love and sharing with you three blogs that I enjoy reading. Please take a minute to visit these friends of mine and read what they have to say!
(1) Jessica at Where is my Instruction Manual (super-cute blog written by a super-cute mom, with lots of photos of her super-cute girl!)
(2) Melissa at Champagne Wishes (Melissa has a heart of gold and is seriously one of the nicest girls you'll ever meet!)
(3)Shalyn at The Nelson Diaries (a feel-good blog written with humor and filled with beautiful photographs...and be sure to check out her photography blog, too!)
By now, I am pretty sure that you're all aware of tomorrow's significance here in the blogging community; I will be participating in the Blogger's Day of Silence in recognition of For Japan With Love.
In lieu of the time I would normally spend reading blogs, I'll be silent and thinking of our friends in Japan. I hope you'll join me and do the same. Please take a minute to visit their website; if you feel so inclined, please donate whatever you can. Every little bit helps.
Thank you, friends. I'll catch up with you all this weekend.
My apologies for not posting the winner earlier today; it's been one of those less-than-stellar days where I had a million and one things to do, and all while running on empty. But I digress... Thanks to all who entered the giveaway for an iPod shuffle & iTunes giftcard AND for all your great music recommendations! Some of your favorites are now on my list of songs to download - I appreciate your suggestions!
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The winner was drawn via Random.org; lucky comment # 19 belongs to Tiffany at Figuring out the Plot (now go spread the love and check out her blog!).
Congratulations, Tiffany! Please email me with your mailing address and I'll get your goodies in the mail to you ASAP!
I hope everyone had a great Wednesday...check back here tomorrow for some photographic Maui-love...
Anyone who blogs can attest that friendship knows no boundaries; it is not limited to geography and isn't borne simply because two souls happened to be physically present in the same location. Like a tree, friendship has roots that can grow and stretch and weave itself into the lives of many, joining them together under an umbrella of love.
I feel so very fortunate to be friends with the most amazing women, many whom I have "met" not by conventional methods, but through the act of blogging. While I have yet to physically meet a majority of these beautiful women, I feel as though they have been a part of my life for many years. There are times when I literally forget that we have never met in person, because over the years, my heart has learned the sound of their voices and memorized their individual faces through photographs on their blogs.
I have a lovely group of girlfriends from my LiveJournal days who, upon learning about the loss of my little brother in late November, rallied together to send me one of the most thoughtful and loving gifts I have ever received. It arrived in the mail on Friday and left me speechless:
[edited for privacy]
I opened the package and read the card; it was filled with beautiful words of support and encouragement, followed by the names of 25+ ladies, only TWO of whom I have actually met in real life. This tiny gesture of friendship, so pure, so genuine and so completely unexpected, was enormous in its love. The tears came; they were not tears of sorrow or loss, but of gratitude and thanks for their gift of their friendship. Who knew that these two beautiful garden stones would evoke such emotion?
This lovely group of women that I am lucky enough to have in my circle of friends did some major homework, all acting as pretty, little MetaCrawlers, combing through this blog to find the perfect sentiment that encompasses the spirit of both my brothers. Their chosen "at peace and flying free together..." are the exact words I have used in previous posts. Perfection.
I feel so blessed to have the friends that I do. I love that some of my closest friends are ones I met through a shared love for writing. I love that our friendship is strong enough to withstand geography.
I love my friends.
And I hope that as you read this, there are a number of you bloggers out there nodding your head in agreement, because YOU too, have friends like these.
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Last chance to enter the GIVEAWAY to win an iPod Shuffle! Giveaway ends Tuesday, 3/15 at 12:00 noon Hawaii Time...don't miss out!
I have to preface this post by saying that we are so fortunate to have been spared significant damage and loss as a result of the tsunami. There is a sense of guilt I have in posting photos of the minor damage Maui has sustained, when the effects we've experienced pale in comparison to the harrowing crisis our friends in Japan are going through.
Like many of you, I have spent the last 48 hours glued to all forms of the media, my mind filling with images and statistics and videos of the travesty that continues to unfold. My heart is heavy and I find myself wishing that I could to do more than pray or donate funds; there is a deep and powerful empathetic desire to be there, to offer basic necessities like food, clean drinking water or human contact - a simple hug to offer comfort. I know it goes without saying, but please, let's all continue to do whatever our hearts tell us, whether it be lifting the country up in prayer or offering monetary assistance. Anything and everything we do will have an impact and can make a difference.
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Life has resumed normalcy here and it's business as usual, save for the island-wide sense of gratitude that things were not as bad as we anticipated. Yesterday was a day of clean-up around town; the mud and debris left behind are the only reminders of the preceeding hours of tremendous anxiety. Parts of the island are still flooded and some homeowners along the North Shore are dealing with these effects, but again, it is nothing that cannot be replaced or fixed.
This poor, green sea turtle was washed ashore, but hands were there to help the little guy out.
Friends, thank you for your prayers, comments and emails checking in on us (especially you first-time commenters). I sincerely appreciate that you kept us in your thoughts. I will keep this short because it has been an exhausting night and I barely slept, but we are fine.
Waves began hitting the top of the island chain sometime a little after 3:00am; apparently, Maui got it worse than the other islands, with some of the waves as high as 7 feet and traveling 1/3 of a mile inland. Parts of the island suffered flooding and water damage, but we're all safe, and that's what matters.
Please keep Japan and all those affected by this tragedy in your thoughts and prayers in the coming weeks as they take the necessary steps to recover and rebuild. I am deeply saddened by this.
Thank you again for your kindness and for reaching out. Much love to all of you! xoxo.
Hello, Friends...happy Tuesday night! I hope you're all having a great week so far. I wanted to take a minute to thank you all for your beautiful and thoughtful comments on my last post; your commiseration was comforting and I am encouraged that so many of you found the post helpful and more importantly, inspiring. After reading your comments, it was made clear to me that we all experience similar thoughts in varying degrees; so let's make a concerted effort to remind ourselves--daily--that we are all perfectly imperfect. Embrace this fact. LOVE yourself. You are unique. You are gifted. You have something special to offer to the world. SHOW US. And be sure to offer support and encouragement to those who might need it, ok? Finally, if you get the chance, please make time to visit my beautiful friend Ruthy Ann at Discovery Street to read her eloquently written post about this topic.
Moving on!
Back when I started this blog, I told myself that this blog would be for me, and that I would write...for me. I have kept that promise to myself, but in doing so, I've also found that this blog has given back to ME, in so many ways. I am the recipient of so many gifts; the gift of clarity, love, joy and patience. More importantly, I have received the gift of friendship from so many of you. And so...in the spirit of giving, this is my opportunity to give back to YOU. I've been wanting to write about this for a few reasons: to celebrate the 6-month anniversary of a blog that, in the beginning, I wasn't sure would "stick"; to celebrate 100+ posts, and finally, to celebrate the friend I have found in EACH OF YOU. I have come to know and love so many of you beautiful souls and kindred spirits. My life is richer because you are in it. Sincerely.
(Photo courtesy of The Hubs!)
Wanna win an iPod Shuffle? Here is your chance! I won this Shuffle in a marketing contest through my work; the thing is, I already have an iPod AND iPhone in perfect working condition. It seems almost silly and redundant to keep this when I can "gift" it to someone else.
And so, my friends...this is where YOU come in. Enter the giveaway for this (BLUE) iPod shuffle and an iTunes Gift Card so that you can start downloading music for your listening pleasure. :)
You have multiple chances to win!
TO ENTER:
*** You don't need to be a follower of my blog to enter, but I would love it if you were. ***
(1) Leave a comment on this post and tell me the name of a song that truly MOVES you. I'm all for discovering new artists and new music, so please share with me your favorites! NOTE: I am looking for new, upbeat, "girl-power" workout/gym music...what song motivates you?
(2) To increase your chances of winning, post about this giveaway on your blog, come back here and leave a separate comment with a link to that post.
This giveaway will run until 12:00 Noon, Hawaii Time (that's 5:00pm for you East Coasters) on Tuesday, March 15th. Winner will be selected via random.org, and the winner will be announced on Wednesday, March 16th.
Giveaway aside...thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, for being a part of my life and this blog.
Love & Aloha to all of you! xoxo!
So excited to hear your artist recommendations! Good Luck!
EDITED TO ADD: OK, it seems that many of you already own an iPod/shuffle. You are still free to enter the giveaway...surely there is someone in your life who could use one of these, no?
This is an especially difficult post for me to write, for many reasons. It is a post that has been brewing for many days now, but one that I have hesitated to write simply because I am caught between the conflicting space of wanting to inspire, yet feeling like a fraud. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
There is a part of me that feels unqualified to write about Beauty and a Positive Self-Image, because I can say with conviction, it is a quality and thought-process which I do not whole-heartedly possess. And I wonder, if I am lacking in this area, what business do I have to write about it? But this is where I will jump to my own defense and say that despite my being a poster-child for self-deprecation, I've also never claimed to be anything more than a work-in-progress. Recognizing my own beauty, value and self-worth has always been an area where I am the most challenged and although I have learned so much over the years, there is still plenty of room for growth and improvement.
[a card I have taped to my mirror, alongside another reminder: "It's YOU vs. YOU."]
The desire to write about this stems from my ongoing struggle with my body and the incessant and nagging issues with regard to my weight and my eating habits. For some of my more seasoned blog readers, you might remember when I wrote about fracturing my foot days before I was supposed to run the Maui Half Marathon. Back in September, I felt like I was on top of my game, fitness-wise. For the most part, I was eating healthy and working out daily, but this injury put a cease-fire to my workout routine and consequently led to poor choices and a sedentary lifestyle.
I am an all-or-nothing kind of girl. I'm either 100% in, or 100% out. I've either got it dialed, or I'm living life haphazardly, foregoing veggies for French Fries with Mayonnaise (yes, I am that girl). Fortunately, the new year and a renewed sense of purpose has given me the motivation I've needed to make necessary changes in our diet and exercise. On the whole, we are eating better and exercising more, but despite all this, I am still feeling discouraged and defeated.
We are always our own worst critic and as such, it is so difficult for me to see beauty in my own reflection. It is so easy for me to believe the negative voice in my head, because it is a voice that is all-too familiar and one that has been present for more than half of my life. I see myself with intensely critical eyes, always finding where I am, to be short of where I want to be. Always feeling...less than. It is an exhausting way of life and one that makes me sad. Sad for the girl in me who loves; the girl in me who finds it incredibly easy to see the beauty in others, yet fails to see the gifts which God has given her.
I don't know that I will ever reach the point where, instead of seeing a flawed reflection in the mirror, I will see beauty and perfection, because I am created in His image. I don't know that I will ever reach the point where I can walk with total and complete self-confidence, knowing that I am who I am, and that I am enough. But I do know that I can continue to work towards this goal, because I want so much, so badly, to find this kind of peace.
Being the all-or-nothing girl that I am, there have been the expected ebbs and flows of self-love over the years. Seasons of confidence and self-assurance have been washed out by seasons of inferiority and self-doubt. And as unpredictable as this cycle may be, I am still predictable, in that I am always striving to overcome. I may be two steps forward or two steps back, but this experience makes me a little stronger and a little wiser every time.
At present, I'm on an upswing. I'm trending more towards the positive as I'm seeing changes as a result of eating healthier and working out. I feel happy. I feel alive, alert and aware. And while I am still trying to curb my obsessive desire to weigh myself daily and not read too much into "the number", or to count calories in vs. calories out, I'm allowing myself to rejoice in the little accomplishments. Like seeing shadows that promise the return of a six-pack. Or feeling just a teeny bit more confident in donning a brazilian bikini at the beach (and it helps immensely to have a husband who loves that I have a little junk-in-my-trunk). Above all, I am making a conscious effort to see myself the way God sees me.
I am not always successful and I continue to have challenging days that test my resolve, but I am making an effort and I am trying. And when I need a little extra push, I look back to my old journal entries and old art vlogs when I was at my peak, riding high on positivity and self-confidence. The good days.
And I resolve to have more of these.
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WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL IN OUR OWN, UNIQUE WAYS. Believe this.
Come take a peek at two of my old art-journal entries:
These are the moments when I wish that living on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean meant equal opportunities for public transportation.
REALLY?!
It's a little easier to swallow when I fill up my tank twice a month, but for The Hubs who drives a 4x4 gas guzzler and fills up his tank approximately every six days? Notsomuch.
