I'm taking a quick break from basking in the glow of the holiday season to ask you something: How many of you keep your blog and social-media-presence a "secret" from your family or real-life friends?
I have conveniently (and purposely) kept this blog from all but a handful of family members and real-life friends, but a thread has been pulled and this master plan of mine is beginning to unravel. My worlds are colliding!
A friend of mine (who doesn't know I blog) mentioned the other day that she really liked my Christmas ornaments. I think the color may have drained from my face as I tried unsuccessfully to appear nonchalant and ask her how she knew about them. She smiled and said, "From your pictures...I think I saw them on Facebook." This would be incorrect, because to date, I have not linked my blog, Twitter account OR Etsy shop to my personal Facebook account. And I have no idea how she came to know this.
I'm not exactly sure why I've withheld these facets about myself from my real-life friends; I've always considered myself a fairly open book and I have nothing to hide, but there has always been a sense of reservation. I started blogging for myself and it seemed convenient to keep the blog public because I knew that this act of writing to nobody and anybody would be understood in the blogosphere: millions of others do the exact same thing, but by doing this, I created a "world" separate from the one I live in-the-flesh.
I suppose if I'm being honest with myself, I can admit that I'm a little embarrassed to come clean and share these precious links with those in my life because I'm afraid they won't "get it". They won't understand that because I love to write, I write about anything and I write about everything. And I'm worried they won't understand that Twitter is about networking and not narcissism, or why it is necessary to take photos of my food (something 99.9% of all bloggers do at some point), or why I carry a camera (sometimes two) with me every.single.day, or how it is possible that an online-friend can turn into a true, real-life friend because we've all been warned that bloggers can also be axe-murderers in disguise. I'm not ashamed by any means of what I do or the friendships I've made simply because I've chosen to share my heart with virtual strangers over the internet...and these are just two reasons why I am beginning to think that the jig is up.
Now if I can just bring myself to post the link on my Facebook account. It's as simple as a cut-and-paste, right? :)
I SO hear you! I don't make mine public either and don't link my blog to my personal facebook profile page. However, if anyone expresses interest in my recipes or what not, I share the link with them! It's weird - so I guess it's like if you're interested, i'll send it to you, but I don't just send it out - I'm like you - worried people won't get it!
ReplyDeleteI make mine public to everyone I know, that's how I get the best feedback. From the people that know me best. If I dont want them to see it I dont share when I have a new post I just let people come across it on their own.. which only a few blog.. the rest will never read unless i share it on facebook.
ReplyDeleteMy blog was private for a long time - my eyes only. But, my mom and 99.9% of my family live over 600 miles away. I moved away, got married and had 2 more kids ~ and the rest of my family had very limited access to my life. That's when I decided to share my blog with my mom. {She, in turn, shared it with the rest of my family!} My blog is still read mainly by my family, but they are always so excited when I post new pictures or stories about my kids ~ because they feel like they are still a part of my life.
ReplyDeleteI'll admit, it was weird when I was home for Thanksgiving and my 70-something Aunt mentioned something I posted. But! She loves reading all about our crazy little life 600 miles away. They all do!
But sometimes, I do sensor myself. I find myself thinking, "If I write this, will my 70-something Aunt be on my doorstep tomorrow?" It's a tough decision - but either way, you deserve it to yourself to "show" those friends/family members just how creative and expressive you can be ~ simply by writing and taking pictures.
I say you should link it....(:
So you think she's reading this post, then??
ReplyDeleteI've been really thinking about this lately. I made it public from the very beginning to all my friends and family and since then have really scaled it back with talking about it. I had one woman who I just know through church come over to drop something off and the moment she walked in my door she began counting my tables. I was all, what the heck!?! Then she tells me she wanted to see if what I said on my blog was true w/how many tables I had. (I DID NOT LIKE THAT) I felt invaded, which is dumb, I know.
So I've stopped mentioning it on FB.
There are so many things I'd like to blog about but too many people close to me read so I can never 'open' up. :(
This is a novel...but I wish I hadn't told everyone about my blog.
I'm the same way (: only family and a handful of my real life friends know and follow my blog out of everyone else I know, the rest are all fellow bloggers! It's weird how open I can be with strangers, and then I cringe to think that some close friends of mine find my blog haha totally strange! at some point, the worlds will have to collide and hopefully it has good results (:
ReplyDeleteI totally know what you're talking about, because I kept LJ so private for so many years. And now, sometimes its just plain weird to know that all of these people are reading about my life (especially during more "emotional" posts, that sometimes cause my mom to call and make sure everything's ok.... awkward!). That being said, its been easier with time and I've come to accept that just about everyone knows about it.
ReplyDeleteMiss you!! xoxo Noa
I definitely kept it a secret for a long time for a lot of the same reasons you described. I'm a little embarrassed - though I don't know why - and I'm afraid they won't get it. But somehow a few of my friends found out about it anyway and have been amazingly supportive. Most of them have even become regular readers. When I started receiving positive feed back (and by that I mean support), I decided to just create a FB page for the blog and link my posts to it. Still, even though I don't keep it a secret anymore, I can't help but feel a little silly when people ask about it. I don't know why. I'm proud of the blog and of the people I've "met" through doing it, but I still feel myself blushing whenever a real-life friend or family member mentions it.
ReplyDeleteinitially i posted mine on FB because it was a way to keep in touch with friends and family as i prepared my wedding (and was so far away from everyone i loved!). In hindsight, part of me wishes I was completely anonymous in blogging, but i know I just couldn't. I love posting pics of my fam.
ReplyDeleteHmmm good topic! It's hard. At first I was very quiet that I had a blog (2007-2010) I didn't know what the blog world was about so I just did it for me. I then met some amazing people here and it grew. In fact, I just came to a point when I am just completely open about it. I started sharing my link on my email footer. I don't link it to my LinkedIn or anything - but pretty much an open book. I do realize sometimes I hold back a little in my posts though because there is a possibility that my friend or family member that I'm writing about (if I'm frustrated or something) that they might read it and be upset. As for the blog world - I totally encourage everyone I know to be apart of it because of what an awesome community the blog-o-sphere is. Maybe I'm too open about being a blogger.
ReplyDeleteI've gotten to a point recently in my life, that although I am a sensitive person and sometimes my feelings get hurt - I'm more focused on what works for me, and what works for our life - than what others concerns are.
THANK YOU for writing this! One day I will just copy and paste it in a new post ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post!! I loved reading everyone's responses. I HATE FB so I deleted my personal account a year ago and shortly after started my blog. JUST this morning I thought maybe I should reopen my account and share my blog link...I did and then quickly deleted it and my account completely. Ha! My family all knows that I blog as well As my friends. I do share personal info and sometimes
ReplyDeleteI do feel like I have to sensor myself bc I don't want to tell the world how I really feel about my mother in law sometimes ....but if your ready to share...share :)
I'm actually a very shy person so I pushed myself to put it out there from the get go, get it over with. I write as an outlet but in all honesty, I want everyone to read it, friends and strangers. So, even though I felt weird about it, I starting putting up my link on my FB page from day one. Some people don't get it but those that do have liked it and I think they can see a different part of me that many didn't know was there...the more creative part.
ReplyDeleteoh good, i'm not alone!! seriously, i feel the exact same way. it's strange isn't it? i even have a friend who i *know* reads my blog (because she's the one who told the rest of my family about it, before they knew i blogged) and she won't talk about it ever... but i know she reads everyday. weird huh? so it's not just us that feel funny, they do too :) and by the way, blog friends can totally become real life friends! blogging just makes the world smaller, which is so cool!
ReplyDeletehang in there :) we're all in the same boat!
I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from!! My current blog isn't secret, although I haven't shouted it from the rooftops either. In the past I've tried to have a extremely secret blog -- known only to stranger but not to people I know -- and that got too stressful.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I do know what you mean about feeling the need to stay reserved from the people you know in real life. I'm not sure why, but I feel the same thing. It could be that because we're so quiet in person, it's hard to comprehend someone understanding that we have such a vast inner, creative life. Blogging is an awesome outlet, but it's a little intimidating when you know people who see you every day are watching!!
I totally had one of those moments too -- my next-door neighbor at my last house asked me about how my job (or lack thereof) was going. She said she'd read about my work troubles on my blog. I didn't even know she knew about my blog, let alone read it!! I tried to smile and nod and act all nonchalant, but I really, really wanted to know how on earth she'd found me! I guess it's not a big deal, but it kind of threw me. You don't think of people you maybe talk to twice a month as being privy to your every thought. Lol.
This is great Ang. I hear ya. Although, I've always been the complete opposite... shouting my blog from the rooftops, posting every link to my FB, getting my feelings hurt when every single person in my life doesnt read my blog, giving my card with my link to every new friend I make... LOL! But I understand why some people might want to keep it a little more private, and to be honest, most people in my "real" life are far less interested in my blog than people in Internet land... or if they DO read it, most people seem embarassed at first to tell me. I have found that most RL people just don't get social media, but that doesn't keep me from being completely shameless about it, and trying to make everyone understand how awesome it is!
ReplyDeleteI say jump with both feet in. You have a business to promote. Some people will be interested, others won't. (or won't let you know even if they are). But you have a TON to offer Angie! Spread the word! :)
It took me a really long time to tell my family I had a blog. A few really good friends of mine still don't know. I feel EXACTLY like you do. Like maybe they won't "get" it. Maybe they will see a side of me they didn't know existed, and even though I write from my heart and am always respectful, it's still kind of embarrassing. I also feel weird b/c a lot of people read that don't comment now, and I am wondering what they are thinking of me. I put myself out there for those close to me to see, and yet they don't, so it's kind of a vulnerable spot to be in. It's a weird thing, this blogging world.
ReplyDeleteI'm not on FB anymore, but when I was, I never had my link to my blog there. I should have just done it. One day a friend commented on FB something about my blog and I freaked out. :)) I didn't want everyone else to know about the blog.
I get it, completely.
You have a lot of comments already and I must admit I have not read them because I am in a rush (though I'd get back to them because I'm interested in what others would say on this topic). As for me, I did not tell my family and friends about my blog right away. But my two brothers found out and they loved it so that encouraged me. I only told two friends and they loved it too. I did not like Facebook that much so I didn't the dilemma or whether to link to facebook right away or not. Eventually I felt comfortable letting my friends know (or letting them find out about it). I totally get your dilemma and I am sure many of the comments here will reflect the same sentiments. The thing is, it would be hard for you to keep it a "secret" now that social media is so widely used - even by grandmothers! I'd say go for it and let them know - it'll help your biz as well :) And I am sure they'd love it. they won't totally understand why you do what you do, but most of them will simply enjoy it.
ReplyDeletei am so glad you wrote this..i thought i was the only that felt this way..but clearly i am not!
ReplyDeleteYOu said so many of the things I feel. I've been blogging of almost two years...and not many friends or family know about my blog. It's a weird thing this blogging world isn't it. I too fear that people won't "get" it.
ReplyDeleteWhen Matt and I first started dating it took me a while to let him know that I blogged. And he did what I feared - he teased me! And I survived :)
ReplyDeleteI still haven't shared it with everyone in my life. Just a very few friend and my husband. It's like non-bloggers think bloggers are creepy and weird or something...I don't know really how to explain it, but I'm definitely hesitant to just share with everyone in my life!
If you want to keep it a secret - I can imagine how weird this must feel! As for me - the minute I hit post the first time, my family knew! ....everyone!
ReplyDeleteSome of my family members are my biggest fans and their daily support means the world to me!
I kept it a secret from everyone except for my husband and my mom, but this past summer my husband's cousin stumbled across my blog, told her mom (Troy's aunt), who called his mom. And when his mom finds out, a lot of people find out. She was actually SO excited about it and told people out of sheer pride and excitement, but it was still so hard for me. Some of my real life friends also found it somehow, so more and more people know. I don't care if people find out now, but I don't link my personal Facebook account to any of my social media or my blog. I just created a separate Facebook page for my blog. I can totally relate to you, though! Did you call your friend out and say, actually those pictures weren't on Facebook, you had to have seen my blog?!
ReplyDeleteMine is public and pretty much everyone in my life knows about it.. most days I really like that, but sometimes I did wish no one knew, so I could write a little more openly...
ReplyDeleteI receive more lovely comments and encouragements from family and friends than I do from bloggers, so I've been very happy being open with my blog. With the beautiful things you say and show us, you should be very proud to show everyone you know what we get to read...good, bad, ugly...it's all important to share, and if they don't like it: Shame on them!! We love you anyway:)
ReplyDeleteAt first, I kept my blog a secret too. Blogging sounds so "dorky" but really it's so amazing! I started showing my blog to some of my closest friends, and they kept telling me how cool it was! Gradually I've stopped trying to keep it such a secret, and I actually haven't gotten any flack from it! Either way, your blog is an amazing place, and I think your friends and family would love it! :)
ReplyDeleteAND - your ornaments are super cool. HAHA
I have had some issues with my real life making my online blogging life difficult. I ended up taking my old blog down and with my new one I am very selective about what I put up and I'm very selective about who I tell about it. So I am majorly paranoid about it now. My husband is ok with me blogging but our personal life and the military is off limits till we get out so I feel like I only blog a certain aspect and people can't really get to know the real me. It is a hard topic for me and sometimes I struggle with taking down the new blog as well, lol BUT, I have met some amazing people through blogging and am grateful for their presence in my life and i think it is because of them, I haven't given up on life on the internet completely.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the rambly comment :)
I went all out and told everyone about me blog when I first started...and now I regret it. I hate that people know what is going on in my life from the blog/Facebook which makes the in-person conversations less personal. You blog, though, it amazing and everyone should know about it!
ReplyDeleteI completely understand where you are coming from. I sent a message out on fb to those who I wanted to share the blog address with and I've kept everyone else in the dark. I know I have several family members and friends that read but don't "follow" the blog.
ReplyDeleteMine has always been public and known to my friends and family. I had no issues with it, but I can see how it would be weird. I hope it's a smooth transition for you! and you gotta nail down from the friend how she found out your secret. But then again, with 462 followers you are not exactly a fly on the wall any longer, Angie, my girl!
ReplyDeleteI think about this daily! Right now only a couple of my friends know about my blog. I haven't told even some of my best friends. Part of me sees the value in blogging anonymously, but the other part just wants to share the link with everyone... I just cant seem to bring myself to post it on Facebook. Decisions decisions...
ReplyDelete